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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29823207">Redemption of a Spirit in a Cold War</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuiGZ1/pseuds/GuiGZ1'>GuiGZ1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Call of Duty (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bell/Park, Cold War, Deaths, F/F, FemBell, Injury, Recovery, Redemption, Torture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:09:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29823207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuiGZ1/pseuds/GuiGZ1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bell....</p><p>She had a job to do : fighting Perseus, a Soviet spy that was threatening the safety of Western Europe but she was counting on Russell Adler &amp; his team....especially Helen A. Park whom she started to fall in love with....</p><p>But reality striked against her :  she's an Perseus agent brainwashed by the CIA....she was lied and used by the people she used to call brothers-in-arms, friends...and the women she loved but something inside of her changed : she was not able to accept the fact that she helped Perseus in his madness and that was too much for her !</p><p>Her loyalty was now belonging to the West....and she forgives the ones who manipulated her by revealing the exact location of Perseus : Solovetsky !</p><p>The fate of all of Europe lies in her hand.....it was the beginning of her fight for redemption !</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bell &amp; Helen A. Park, Bell/Helen A. Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Where it all ends.....</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A new story....linked to "Alone in a Cold War"</p><p>Discover in this prologue Bell's Point of View of the Solovetsky events !</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">March 15th 1981, White Sea on an american aircraft carrier</span>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>Solovetsky</em>
</p><p>One word....one word.....that was going to determine the future of all of Europe and I was the one who were going to decide of it....and now, Europe's fate was lying in my hands. Revealing the truth was the only way for me to redeem myself from my crimes but it's not enough...it will never be ! My hands is full of blood from guilty people but....but also blood from innocents ones ! Too many people died by my hands for the both sides.</p><p>
  <em>I killed for Perseus....</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I killed for the CIA...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I killed for the MI6...</em>
</p><p>I don't know if I need to think that I was used by the CIA just as a asset....or maybe they make sure to opened my eyes on who I was in reality ? Maybe both.....I will never know,  I'm used to be lied to !</p><p>Now, I was writing a letter for Park inside our room. I was alone for the moment as she leaved to go grab something. </p><p>
  <em>Park....</em>
</p><p>Park is the only person I really feel something about, she's always there for me...even if I know the truth. She's the only one in the group to told me she was sorry about everything...and I forgive her because I love her !</p><p>
  <em>I love her but are there still any love inside of me to keep me alive, now ?</em>
</p><p><em>"Done...finally !" </em>I said to myself as I finished writing the letter<em><br/>
</em></p><p>This letter, I have started to write 3 days ago as we have leaved West-Berlin. During 3 days, I had to pull all of my strengh to write it. I wanted to express how I was feeling for her and what I wanted to do for the future but I think I'm too optimistic for that....</p><p>
  <em>I'm just a brainwashed women !</em>
</p><p>Once I'm done with the letter, I took it in my hands and started putting it inside one of my pocket. Then, I decided to get up and I saw myself on the mirror that was just above the desk....I could see myself, slowly putting gloves on my hands and I decided to talk to my reflection.</p><p><em>"You have a monster inside you....and I'm trying to kill it !" </em>As I finished to put the gloves and put my hands on the chair <em>"I'm trying"</em></p><p>I'm closing my eyes to think but there's one thing that still come in first....</p><p>
  <em>We have a job to do...</em>
</p><p>This sentence....I heard it a lot of time in my head, Adler telling me that....It was his sentence, the thing that was controlling me since mid-february....to <em>"keep me in line"</em> as he prefer to say. I was acting....like a robot but there were something that allowed to think by myself...to act by myself, maybe it was Park or something else....but this sentence is defining my new objective.</p><p><em>"I have a job to do" </em>I whispered</p><p>Stopping Perseus was my priority...can't bring the fact that I helped him but the past is the past...I'm trying to fix everything right...or die trying !</p><p><em>"Bell !"</em> It was Park</p><p>I was so focused on me that I didn't hear the door opening, she was holding the door with one of her hands, still standing outside the room, dressed in her military gear.....ready to fight...even with her injuries !</p><p><em>"Adler is going to start the briefing...you should come !" </em>She continued, her face's little bit worried</p><p><em>"I'm coming !" </em>I replied in a simple tone</p><p>Just taking my jacket and I joined her outside the room as she was holding the door for me and then closed it as I stepped outside. We started to walk to the briefing room as we were talking on the way.</p><p><em>"Sure Adler want me to participate in the briefing ?" </em>I asked</p><p><em>"You're one of us, Bell ! Of course he wants you......uuhhh.....it don't disturb you that....we're still calling you Bell ?" </em>She replied, her voice a little moved.</p><p>
  <em>"No....no...that's my name....I need to accept it now !"</em>
</p><p><em>"You don't need to...." </em>She said as she opened the door leading to the runway of the aircraft carrier</p><p><em>"Park....I made my choice : I'm Bell.....I can't change it !"  </em>I told her</p><p><em>"Ok.....anyway, I'm still here for you, we're sticking together !" </em>She said, with a smile </p><p>It's good to see her support me....and to see her smile, she didn't smile for three days. What happened in Cuba changed us in every ways....I was the most impacted because it's after this event I learned the truth. </p><p>When she opened the door, the sun was setting and some people were regrouping near a plane, they were pilots of the US Air Force getting a briefing from their superior but I didn't take much attention on it as I was more focused on our briefing.</p><p><em>"The briefing room is just this way" </em>Park said to me as I was following her.</p><p>She opened another door leading to some stairs, I continue to follow her &amp; then after the stairs, we arrived in the briefing room : there were a lot of people sitting and few standing up, they were all talking. I recognized Adler who was speaking with someone.....until his gaze fell on us just arriving in the room.</p><p><em>"Everyone's here ! Let's start !" </em>He said</p><p>Park found us some seats and I joined her, silence was now total in the room, everyone waiting for Adler to speak. He was next to a dashboard that have the details of our mission on it.</p><p><em>"Today is the big day : we're gonna stop Perseus once and for all ! At Solovetsky !" </em>He started while lighting a smoke.</p><p><em>"We have only one chance : we're going to strike hard and fast. We will attack in force from the main gate with armored trucks...." </em>He continued</p><p><em>"Why we don't just let the bombers do the job ?"</em> A soldier just a few seats from me interrupted him</p><p>Adler was looking annoyed and....I don't know why but I decided to reply to the soldier.</p><p>
  <em>"Because Perseus has Anti-Air guns inside the facility...."</em>
</p><p>The same guy just turned around to look at me while Adler was surprised by me.</p><p><em>"And who is this girl ?"</em> The soldier asked </p><p><em>"She's named Bell....she was a former Perseus agent !" </em>Adler replying to him</p><p>Suddenly, everyone turned around to look at me....all the attention were on me now because Adler didn't tell anyone about me and I hoped that he will stay silent ! I was keeping a straight face as everyone is looking at me but inside of me, I wasn't happy about the situation.</p><p>
  <em>Thanks, Adler !</em>
</p><p><em>"So, we're putting all our trust on a women from Perseus ?" </em>Another soldier spoke</p><p><em>"Yes, we're here because of her ! Now, stay focused !" </em>He said while clenching his fists.</p><p>After that, he was finally able to continue his briefing without anyone interrupting him, I already knew the attack's plan on Perseus's base : US pilots are dropping an EMP bomb above the base, we force the entrance, we destroy the AA guns &amp; then get Perseus alive....or dead !</p><p>When I remember that Perseus was at Solovetsky, memories came back to me : I didn't spend much time over there but I knew exactly where the AA guns were and how Perseus was going to diffuse Greenlight's detonation order...That's why an EMP is going to be used. When the EMP is used, we have only 15 minutes to destroy the AA guns....It's gonna be 15 short minutes....</p><p><em>"Fuck....my head !" </em>I whispered to myself while putting my right hand on my forehead</p><p>I was interrupted in my thoughts by a headache. It was starting to get frequent since the East-Berlin mission but there were just one of the signs of concerns about me : there were also my arms that can start to shake randomly at any time, my vision getting blurry, not wanting to sleep and one time, one of my legs was paralysed for a day.</p><p>I don't know what's going on inside of me but it's not good ! I need to stay focused on Perseus.</p><p>
  <em>Stay focused, Bell !</em>
</p><p>Then, I was surprised by a hand on my right knee : it was Park's left hand. I looked at her, she gave me a compassionate smile and her eyes was looking moved !</p><p>I could only respond by doing the same smile to her and I was going to put my hand on her's but before I could do that, I heard Adler ! </p><p><em>"Okay....Everyone get ready to gear up, we're leaving soon ! Dismissed !" </em>He said</p><p>In a second, people were getting up from their seats &amp; leaving the briefing room as Adler left to a door next to the dashboard. Me &amp; Park waited that everyone left to finally go to our chopper. At this moment, I was asking in my head a hard question : Should I give the letter to Park now ?</p><p>
  <em>Should I ?</em>
</p><p>Finally, there were just the two of us left in the briefing room and she was the first to get up, she was next to the door when I decided to stop her by putting my hand on one of her shoulders while I put out my letter with the other hand</p><p>
  <em>Maybe it's the time !</em>
</p><p>"<em>Park, I...I need to give you something !</em>" I said to her with a trembling voice</p><p>"<em>What's this, Bell ?" </em>She asked</p><p>"<em>A letter...for you" </em>I told while I handed her the letter</p><p>But then, something inside of me make me change my mind, like a voice or my conscience, can't tell it but I was sure....I can't give it to her now ! I need to wait.</p><p>
  <em>It was not the time !</em>
</p><p><em>"Why, Bell ?"  </em>She said, maybe finding weird to change my choice in a second</p><p>"<em>It's something I prefer to give you after...after the operation"  </em>I replied</p><p>That was at this moment I will prefer to give it....It's better that we stay concentrated on our mission for the good of everyone.</p><p><em>"Are you sure you feeling okay ?" </em>She asked as she put her hands on my arms</p><p>
  <em>"No...no, I'm not feeling okay and I'm not supposed to. All of this because of me !" </em>
</p><p>"Don't worry, Bell ! I'm...I'm here for you." She said as she approached me.</p><p>She decided to kiss me on the lips and that's the thing that's giving me strengh and I understand her gesture. I decided that this needed to be reciprocal. As soon as she withdrawed from me, I decided to put my hands on her cheeks and moved to kiss her again. Her lips....has something amazing, the feeling of touching her cheeks too...</p><p><em>"Ouch"</em> she said in pain, my hands touching her wounds</p><p>
  <em>Maybe I did touched her cheeks too hard !</em>
</p><p><em>"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you" </em>I apologize to her </p><p><em>"It's not your fault ! I....I love you, Bell !"  </em>She replied</p><p>
  <em>"Me too, Park ! Me too." </em>
</p><p>Few seconds passed as we were still close. Then, we withdraw from each other.</p><p><em>"I'm going to get my jacket in our room, do you want to come with me ?"</em> She asked to me but I needed to go see someone</p><p><em>"No, I need to see Adler before. I'll join you at the helicopter." </em> I responded</p><p>Then, we go each other on our separate ways : her going grab her jacket and me going to see Adler. I walked to the door that Adler took after the end of the briefing and I opened it : it was leading to a bridge with a big view on the runway....and Adler was just a few meters from me, smoking and looking away.</p><p>He heard the door opening and turned his head around before looking at the horizon again. He was not wearing his glasses.</p><p><em>"I knew you'll come, Bell !" </em>He said simply</p><p>
  <em>"You know everything, right ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"I just knew that you'll want to see me...nothing else ! What do you want to talk about ?" </em>He asked</p><p>I leaned myself against the bridge's barrier, looking at the direction of our chopper. I took in my hands the photo Park gave me : a photo of her that she signed for me. Then, I started to speak</p><p>
  <em>"It's about...the operation, I need to fix the mistakes I have done...."</em>
</p><p><em>"Bell, it's not mistakes, you're doing this for the free world !" </em>He interrupted me</p><p>
  <em>"What Perseus is going to do is because of me, Adler ! It's a mistake, MY mistake. Right now.....I've got the fate of Europe in my hands !"</em>
</p><p>All of Western Europe is counting on me...a women from the East....to make sure Perseus doesn't win. Even they will never know what we have done for them, we're making sure that they will live another day. In fact, we are the one who's holding the line and to make sure that no one crossed it. </p><p>
  <em>No one is going to cross that line !</em>
</p><p>I was looking deeply to the photo, I was also doing all of this for Park.</p><p><em>"I can see that Park is really proud of you..." </em>It was Adler, he must have turned around to see me as I was looking at the photo</p><p><em>"I"m also doing this for her, Adler but I don't know if I will ever survive this mission." </em>I replied</p><p>I could feel one of his hand touching my right shoulder</p><p><em>"Don't think of that ! Your exploits showed that we can count on you, you survived worse than that !"  </em>He said</p><p><em>"We'll see that"</em> I told him</p><p>He then removed his hand from me</p><p>
  <em>"We should join the others ! Come on, we...."</em>
</p><p><em>"....have a job to do ! I know, Adler. I know !" </em>I interrupted him</p><p>It was too predictable for me to know when Adler is going to say that, I stopped him because I know he want to keep me under his control but now that I know the truth, I need to stay myself, not a CIA's puppet or an 'asset'.</p><p>I heard him walk away so I put the photo back into my pocket and started to followed him to the chopper. 30 seconds later, we were walking on the runway, geared up. I was seeing the team waiting for us : Woods, Mason &amp; Park...all sitting near the helicopter, guns in hand.</p><p><em>"All set ! Everyone in the chopper, it's time to go to work !" </em>Adler started to speak </p><p>We all complied immediately, I was the first to get in and Park sat just next to me. After everyone was in, the helicopter started &amp; a few moments later, he was finally flying away from the aircraft carrier. It was time to end this !</p><p>
  <em>It's time !</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-----------------------</em>
</p><p>During the fly, Park gave me my M1911, I forgot to take it when I left for the briefing. I was concerned when she said she had something from me but I was relieved when she handed me the gun. This M1911 was not really mine but...I started to like it. We talked about the photo she gave me and then, I decided to be silent...just to be in my thoughts.</p><p>Thinking about what I've done for Perseus, I'm going to end it this night....even if I die trying.</p><p>We've finally arrived in Solovetsky at nighttime. The chopper landed in a securized place guarded by CIA soldiers. It was where we are going to extract after we have done here. Once the chopper was on the ground, Adler was the first to get out of it, me and Park jumped out just after he left.</p><p>Adler walked to see someone. I think it was Belikov, the guy that helped up enter the Lubyanka building in Moscow, they talked for some time as us, we stayed back near the chopper. Finally, he turned away to see us</p><p><em>"Okay, Woods and Mason, you get in that truck." </em>He said while pointing a military truck with a finger, the two quickly reacted to get in that truck.</p><p>Then, he faced us, me &amp; Park.</p><p>
  <em>"Park, you'll stay here to watch the extraction. Bell, with me!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What ? </em>
</p><p>1 hour before we had our briefing on the ship, Adler said that Park was coming with us in the mission &amp; in one second, he changed his mind. I don't know what's happening but it's weird. I didn't look happy about it.</p><p><em>"Hey, that's not what was agreed in the plan, I think so..."  </em>Park spoke against his decision</p><p><em>"Park, you still have the wounds from Cuba and you're not back in shape yet. I'm sorry but that's how it is!"</em> He said to her before walking as nothing happened </p><p>
  <em>"Bell, follow me!"</em>
</p><p>I didn't know what to do but I started following him, leaving Park behind. As I walked with him to a armored truck, I needed to ask him.</p><p><em>"Why isn't Park coming with us?" </em>I asked while I stopped walking</p><p><em> "Get in the truck, Bell!" </em>He responded</p><p><em>"I'm waiting for an answer: why is she not coming?" </em>I crossed my arms, waiting</p><p><em>"You heard the answer. Now get in that damn truck!" </em>He said, sounding annoyed by me</p><p>
  <em>"I want to talk with her for 2 minutes. I need to talk to her, Adler!"</em>
</p><p>His face was starting to show signs of anger, he looked at the truck and then back at me as he was looking at his watch.</p><p>
  <em>"2 minutes! You have two minutes! After this deadline, we leave without you." </em>
</p><p>He got in the truck as I had 2 minutes to go see Park before I leave, I need to make it worth it. I returned back to the chopper, Park was looking at the horizon...at the sea, standing up and her MP5 just at her feets. I was sad just by looking at her in that state. Heads down, I started to speak.</p><p>
  <em>"Park !"</em>
</p><p>She turned around to saw me</p><p><em>"Know that I might not come back here alive .... for you! I .... wanted to see you again just in case." </em>I told her, my voice cracking by the weight of the emotion</p><p><em>"Don't think about it, please!" </em>She said</p><p>We had the same idea as we got closer, forehead to forehead and I slowly touched her cheeks, I tried to make a little smile but I couldn't.</p><p><em>"I don't want to forget you. I can't imagine myself without you!"</em> I said with the same voice as before</p><p><em>"You will make me cry, stop!"</em> She told, tears invading her eyes</p><p>I decided to give her a little kiss but she reinforced it and the little kiss became a great kiss. My hands were delicately cleaning the flowing tears of her eyes. </p><p>
  <em>You're so precious, Park !</em>
</p><p>Then, it was time for me to go on the mission. I was sad that Park will not come but at least, she's safe here. I withdrawed from her and started to walk back to Adler but I heard her voice talking to me</p><p>
  <em>"I love you, Bell !"</em>
</p><p>I turned around to see her a last time before leaving, smile on my lips.</p><p>
  <em>"Me too, Helen Park!" </em>
</p><p>I looked at her and then, I restarted to walk to the truck where Adler was waiting for me, he helped me to get in the truck and then once I was in, the truck start to drive away from the extraction zone.</p><p>During the driving, something inside of me said that I didn't do something important. I checked my pockets and I found my letter</p><p><em>"Damnit..."  </em>I said to myself</p><p>When Adler changed his mind, I knew I needed to give Park my letter but I totally forget that before we leave.</p><p><em>"What's happening, Bell ?"</em> Adler asked</p><p>
  <em>"I forgot....I forgot to give my letter to Park !"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"A letter ?" </em>
</p><p><em>"Yes, something I needed to give to her !" </em>I said while putting the letter back into my pocket</p><p><em>"Don't worry ! You'll be able to give it after the operation, stay focused now !" </em>He told me as he take in his hand his Krig 6 and in the other, his radio.</p><p>Just seconds after, we were at the sight of the monastery....Perseus's lair. Our trucks started to get off-road and drove down a hill at full-speed.</p><p>"EMP bomb is gonna strike now. Brace yourself !" It was Adler.</p><p>I looked at the sky as plane was flying over the base and then a big white light appeared above it....the EMP. The monastery defences and electronics was shut down as our truck was at full-speed. </p><p>I listened to Adler's advice and braced myself to the truck, the blast of the EMP hit us and some truck started to make some zig-zag because of it but our driver succeeded to keep control. We're getting closer to the base and Adler handed my a War Machine, a highly explosive grenade launcher.</p><p>
  <em>And here we go, time to blow them up!</em>
</p><p>I took it as we are close to the gate. I started to shoot at the watchtowers.</p><p>
  <em>1..</em>
</p><p>
  <em>2..</em>
</p><p>The two watchtowers fell down as soon as they were hit by the War Machine, the truck was at full-speed and it was hard to shoot Perseus's soldiers but I succeeded to eliminate most of them keeping the entrance. We passed another set of watchtower but one of them started to fall on the truck's path.</p><p><em>"Hold on !"</em> It was our driver</p><p>He quickly tried to avoid the watchtower and he took a ramp next to it, the truck start flying as we were holding ourselves. It's finally landed finely near a lake but I could have felt the shock of the landing on my body. The truck stopped after making a quick turn just in front a downed wall.</p><p><em>"Ok, time to end this !"</em> Adler said as he's getting out of the truck</p><p>I took the M16 that was just next to me and jumped out of the truck. I quickly joined Adler as we start to enter the monastery. Bullets were flying around us, cries of the wounded and explosions hearded...a warzone ! We were lucky that the first AA gun was just there.</p><p>Smoke grenades were needed so I take one of mine and throw it in front of the enemies. With Adler, we gained advantage against them by passing on the side of the smoke while eliminating those in our way.</p><p>Enemies were defending at all cost the AA gun but our advantage take them by surprise. I was the first to approach the AA as the enemy was falling back. I put an timed charge on it and started to run back to my cover with Adler.</p><p>
  <b>BOOM....</b>
</p><p>
  <em>First AA destroyed !</em>
</p><p><em>"Woods, Mason, take the teams with you to the second AA gun ! Me &amp; Bell are directly going to the third one"</em> Adler spoke</p><p><em>"Affirmative" </em>Woods responded</p><p>
  <em>"I hope you know the way, Bell !" Adler asked to me.</em>
</p><p><em>"Follow me !" </em>I replied</p><p>I know that the third AA gun was at the other side of the monastery near the radars and the easiest way to get in there is to go through the monastery basement, the main way is probably filled with ennemies and we don't have much time left....</p><p>
  <em>10 minutes left !</em>
</p><p>As the yard was secured, Adler followed me to a door that was leading to the basement, I busted it open and I entered first. There's were no light but we had our flashlight on our guns. We started to get down inside the basement. Few enemies were in there but we succeeded to clear our way.</p><p>Then, after a few instants, we arrived in a sort of big hallway.....a heavy armored soldier was guarding the exit, the only way out. He was armed with a RPD and started firying as soon we got in that hallway.</p><p><em>"I'm going to get around him, distract him"</em> I ordered to Adler</p><p>He complied and start to shoot the enemy as I started to crawl on the side of the hallway. Each time Adler was shooting at the armored soldier, the men was laughing.</p><p><em>"It's not like this you're gonna win !" </em>He exclaimed</p><p>Good for me, he wasn't able to saw me arrive behind him. I needed to find a way to neutralize him, the guy was also armored on the back.....found the weakspots ! He had a helmet that was protecting his head but it was not covering his chin and his neck was not protected at the same time.</p><p>I took my knife and my M1911 and tried to approach him.</p><p><em>"Try to kill me !"</em> He continued to exclaim</p><p>And in one second....</p><p>
  <b>SLASH....</b>
</p><p>I planted my knife inside his neck and I put the guy back.</p><p><em>"Agreed !" </em>I said with irony as I put my M1911 under his chin.</p><p>I pull the trigger of the gun two times to make sure. I dropped him in the ground, he was dead !</p><p>
  <em>8 minutes left.....<br/>
</em>
</p><p><em>"Good job, Bell !" </em>It was Adler who has gotten out of his cover</p><p> I took back my knife that was still on the soldier's neck but suddenly, the lights came back and a huge noise of electronics devices reactivating was heard...Back-up generator....I didn't know that. But that was meaning worse than that.</p><p><em>"Shit, the power's back ! Greenlight is gonna be launched !" </em>I told Adler</p><p><em>"Quick, we need to move on !" </em>He replied</p><p>I got my knife and my M16 back and started running to the exit with Adler.</p><p>
  <em>2...........minutes......left !</em>
</p><p>After fifthteen seconds, we arrived in the yard where the last AA gun was located but there were a lot of enemies. Woods &amp; Mason were also there as they have destroyed the other AA gun. We quickly get to cover to avoid the bullets of a machine gun posted at nearly 10 meters from us.</p><p><em>"We're never going to destroy that gun in time !"</em> Woods screamed</p><p>Suddenly, I was able to hear Adler's radio.</p><p><em>"1 minutes &amp; 30 seconds before the bombers come by..." </em>As I heard</p><p>I closed my eyes just to the hearing of that : I was going to fail at the last moment, Perseus was going to win....I can't let that happen....I will not let that happen. Never going to. </p><p>
  <em>Bell, you have a job to do !</em>
</p><p>I reopened my eyes, I know what I need to do....and I will do it at any cost.</p><p><em>"Adler, give me the charge !" </em>I said to him</p><p><em>"Are you crazy ? You're gonna get killed !" </em>He exclaimed</p><p>Maybe I was crazy but we needed to stop Perseus. I checked the mag of my M16....3 bullets left, one burst ! I got out of my cover and fired that only burst in the direction of the machine gun....and it stopped firying...I succeeded to kill the guy who was using it with one burst.</p><p>I got back in my cover and Adler was looking at me, amazed</p><p><em>"Give me the charge ! NOW !" </em>I said, repeating myself</p><p>He took the charge in his hand and quickly, I take it in mine. I dropped my M16 on the ground as he got no more ammo and I equip my M1911. Once I had all I need, I was ready !</p><p>I started to run out of my cover....at full-speed ! I was going to take the risks to stop Greenlight...All the risks. With the timed charge in a hand, my M1911 in the other, I was fully determined and nobody can stop me....nobody.</p><p>
  <em>Europe is counting on me !</em>
</p><p>Some enemies tried to stop me but each one was receiving a bullet from my gun. I was too fast for them that they were surprised by me but also from the bullets fired by Adler and the others.</p><p>It take me a few seconds to finally arrive near the AA gun, there were just an enemy guarding it and I shot him quickly in the head. I pull my M1911 back onto it's holstler and soon I done it, I started to place the charge on the AA gun. Then, my radio start making noises.</p><p><em>"Bell, RUN !" </em>It was Adler</p><p>I start to hear explosions behind me, I turned around : the bombers were already there and the radar stations was hit but the explosions didn't stop coming in my direction. </p><p>Running was now an priority, I tried my best to return back to Adler but the bomb were loudly hearded and started to keep closer to me. </p><p>Then, I was caught in the blast of the bombs....I closed my eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe it was the end.</em>
</p><p>-----------------</p><p>
  <em>I was still alive, I was still thinking.</em>
</p><p>I opened my eyes but it was all black....I could heard noises, people speaking, the sounds of flames around me. </p><p>
  <em>Did we won ? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where I am ? </em>
</p><p>Maybe I was under debris, but I was alive and then, voices was getting more closer to me.</p><p><em>"Sir....we found her, she's here !"</em> I heard, a man voice.</p><p>Then, it was no longer black, Adler was in front of me standing up and giving me his hand.</p><p>
  <em>"Take my hand, Bell !"</em>
</p><p>I complied and he helped me getting up. I stood up and around me....it was looking like hell : a lot of flames, debris all over the place...and the sound of death invading the place. Woods &amp; Mason was there, joining Adler then he turned back to me.</p><p>
  <em>"See, Bell ! This is how we win wars !"</em>
</p><p>We all take a look around us. </p><p>
  <em>We won</em>
</p><p>--------------------</p><p>After getting me out of the rubble, we returned back to the trucks where we helped the others to find the wounded. That's take us 2 hours to finally getting everyone back and soon as we were ready, it was time for us to leave this place...for good !</p><p>We were the last truck to drove away as they were only me, Adler and the driver from before in that truck. I could only smile to think about this victory we got against Perseus but unfortunately, he succeeded to escape Solovetsky....At least, we stopped him to use Greenlight...my mistake been fixed.</p><p>But suddenly as the truck were driving back to the extraction zone, Adler spoke to the driver, I couldn't hear what they were saying but I feel like that's something wrong. I stood up and the truck engage in another road....not following the rest of the trucks</p><p><em>"Where are we going, Adler ?" </em>I asked</p><p>He didn't respond to me, I was worried about him. </p><p>
  <em>What are you planning ?</em>
</p><p>After a few minutes, the truck stopped near a cliff, Adler got out and asked me to follow him....and I could only comply. He started to lit a cigarette he took from his pocket.</p><p>
  <em>"What are we doing here ?" </em>
</p><p>Same thing, didn't respond at all.</p><p>After a few seconds of walk, he finally speak to me.</p><p>
  <em>"Ah, Artic air, clear the head, doesn't it ?"</em>
</p><p>Yes, the air was feeling good but I was still questioning inside of me about what he's wanting so I let him talk</p><p>
  <em>"Bell, you made two extraordinary sacrifices to Perseus. One was without your knowledge. The other.....you made that decision of your own accord."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It was necessary....I had to stop Perseus, it was my mission !" I replied</em>
</p><p>He turned his back on me to look at the horizon as I took Park's photo in my left hand...I'm coming back to see you, Park !</p><p>
  <em>"I just want you to know that this little things that happened between you and me........ it was always for the greater good !"</em>
</p><p>I still got Park's photo but after he said that, I knew that something changed....I started to understand that he planned something else for me</p><p>
  <em>"You're a goddam hero, you know that, kid ?"</em>
</p><p>He threw away his cigarette into the sea and started to take a few step, back to me. My right hand...was positioned on my M1911's grip...just in case.</p><p>
  <em>"Heroes has to make sacrifices. That's why I ask one you for one more, I hope you understand ........"</em>
</p><p>He stopped and then finally half turned around and looked at me.</p><p>
  <em>"It was never personal ! "</em>
</p><p>At this moment, we both draw our pistols. I should have know that he was planning to get rid of me....and I was ready to take a stand. Simultaneously, we had our guns pointed to each other in a second....and I pulled the trigger....and I closed my eyes.</p><p>
  <b>BANG.....</b>
</p><p>
  <b>BANG.....</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ....begins a new redemption !</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Two shots....</p><p>That's all Bell remember before she closed her eyes !</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Two shots...</em>
</p><p>I heard two shots as I closed my eyes. I should have know....I should have know that Adler was going to do this : it was clear since he decided to get out of sight of everyone....to get rid of me !</p><p>A cliff where no one can see what's happening, the sounds of the birds....of the sea hitting the rocks, the feeling of the Artic air. Everything was perfect for him to do his job....and now, I remember why he didn't want Park to come in because he know that she was not going to allow him to do the CIA's dirty work.</p><p>Park saw me as a human....the CIA was just seeing me as an 'asset'....'one less loose end', something you'll throw away once it has done the necessary and they were going to win ! Maybe in fact, the CIA was right : I was like a bomb that could explode at any moment, someone that was a threat to the West....but no, they're not right ! I'm not going to let them win against me !</p><p>
  <em>Not in my watch !</em>
</p><p>I had to make a stand against them....against Adler but I didn't want to kill him : I just wanted to make him see that I'm more than just an 'asset'....that I have been given a mission : find &amp; kill Perseus !</p><p>At the moment I drew my gun, I closed my eyes but I didn't know why I closed them as I heard two shots.</p><p>
  <em>Did I win ?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did I lose ?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did we both lose ?</em>
</p><p>I was thinking but when I closed my eyes, I could heard a little voice in my head....a voice sounding familiar but I didn't recognize it.</p><p>
  <em>"Bell....we have a job to do !"</em>
</p><p>We have a job to do, Adler's sentence but it wasn't his voice ! Someone else said that...but I couldn't say who....maybe I should stop thinking for my own good......maybe a little sleep will do no harm to me....I deserved it !</p><p>
  <em>A little sleep !</em>
</p><p>-----------------------------</p><p>I don't know but I started rethinking again after a long time and I was feeling that I was regaining back the control of my body but there were something strange : how long I stopped thinking  and why my head was hurting so bad ?</p><p>I slowly reopened my eyes, my vision was all blurry like blinded by the reflection of the sun on a window and to resolve that, I put my left hand to block that thing but when I moved itd, I felt like I didn't move since a long time.</p><p>I was looking at my left hand...and slowly moving it as I touch it with the other hand</p><p><em>"What's happening ?" </em>I said inside my head</p><p>Last time my eyes was opened, it was before Adler decided to dispose of me and now...I was lying on a bed...a hospital bed.</p><p>
  <em>Am I still at Solovetsky ?</em>
</p><p>I blinked multiple times to get my vision back to normal...and I was finally able to see perfectly : I was in a sort of hospital room...I could heard music coming from a radio that was not in that room...soviet music...and I turned my head around to look at the front door : there were a doctor next to it, his back turned against me.</p><p><em>"Where I am ?"</em> I whispered as I redressed myself on the bed.</p><p>Sounds like the noises I was making put the doctor aware because as soon I was redressed that I started to heard him.</p><p><em>"By god...she's awake !" </em>I heard from him</p><p>I heard him coming at me as I was holding my head...was hurting so bad.</p><p><em>"I never thought that day will arrive !" </em>He said</p><p><em>"Where I am ?"</em> I asked, still holding my head</p><p><em>"You're in Moscow, miss !"</em> He replied</p><p>
  <em>Moscow....the heart of the USSR. </em>
</p><p>So, the soviets should have found me at Solovetsky....and I was still alive ! How did I survive ? What happened on that cliff should have killed me and I'm here ! I could see the doctor taking a chair near by and sit next to me.</p><p><em>"Can you respond to some questions ?"</em> He told me</p><p><em>"I...I will try my best !" </em>I said, not sure of my answer</p><p><em>"Ok...can you tell me how a british woman was found on Solovetsky Island ?" </em>It was his first question</p><p>
  <em>"A british woman ? Who are you talking about ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"About you...you didn't hear your accent ?" </em>He exclaimed, surprised</p><p>He...he's right....my accent...I could hear myself &amp; that accent, I was a british women for him...but now he said that, I remember...I remember when I caught this accent !</p><p>
  <em>Park !</em>
</p><p>And in a second, everything came back to me : what happened to me during my work with her...I caught her accent since I worked with her....since I woke up as "Bell"....but I can't remember when all of this happens.</p><p><em>"I...I don't know...what happened to me, sir ?"</em> I asked</p><p><em>"You were shot in the head and left for dead at Solovetsky...Here's something you need to see !"</em> He said as he handed me a mirror</p><p>I took the mirror in hand and then I saw where the shot...Adler's shot went : I got a scar at the right side of my head starting next to my forehead going until the back of my head. When I saw it, I was shocked and I slowly slided one of my hand alongside that scar.</p><p>
  <em>I look like shit !</em>
</p><p><em>"The person that shot you didn't know that the bullet deflected. Otherwise, you'll be dead ! You were saved but out for a long time !"</em> He continued </p><p><em>"Long time ?...how many ?"</em> I asked, worried</p><p>He was biting his lips when I asked this question, look like he wasn't sure what to say...and I saw what he was going to tell me wasn't going to please me.</p><p>
  <em>"You're been in a coma....since 3 years ! We're the March 21st 1984 !"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Three....three years ?" </em>
</p><p>He only nodded showing in this face signs of concerns....I can't...no...I spent 3 years in a coma....how I'm still alive after all this time ? It can't be possible ! I was shot in the head and I survived ! But I can't fight about it : I need to accept that fact....the fact that I'm alive after 3 years sleeping and now in the hands of the Soviets.</p><p>I couldn't only put my head in my arms just to think that I was all alone.</p><p><em>"I'm sorry to make you hear that....I'm very sorry !"</em> He told me</p><p><em>"It's okay, doc !...Uh...what's your name ?" </em> I asked while looking at him again</p><p><em>"I totally forgot..." </em>He said as he give me his hand for me to shake it <em>"I'm the doctor Krimilov !"</em></p><p>I complied and shook his hand with a little smile on my face. After that, he sat back on his chair.</p><p><em>"I was your doctor since you're arrived here....and we all hoped to see you awake but day after day...week after week, our hopes decreased...until now !" </em>He said, sounding relieved to seeing me woke up</p><p><em>"I guess that now I'm awake...I will be brought to questioning, right ?" </em>I told him</p><p>I wasn't free at all....alive, yes but not free....If the Soviets authorities found me, they sure want to know my version of what happened that day....a day that was 3 years ago but soon as I said that to Krimilov that he started to look at me like he was surprised.</p><p><em>"What do you mean ?" </em>He asked</p><p><em>"It's evident....after what happened 3 years ago, I'm sure that maybe they want to talk to me !" </em>I said in defeat</p><p>
  <em>"Oh...that won't be necessary....you're a free women !" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What...what are you talking ?"</em>
</p><p>I was surprised by his reaction...and his response. Why did he said that I was a free women ? What is he planning ?</p><p>
  <em>"When you were brought here, you were put under surveillance by the KGB...but after one month and a half, that surveillance...was stopped !"</em>
</p><p><em>"And there's a explanation ?" </em>I said, confused</p><p><em>"Apparently as I heard, the investigations about you were dropped...all like that !" </em>He responded, snapping his fingers at the same time.</p><p>I didn't know what to say : why the KGB would dropped their investigations on me if I'm someone they consider important ? I got too many questions that's coming inside of me, that was getting me mixed between confusion....and distress.</p><p>Just as he finished that the silence was propaging towards for a few instants until he start to speak again as he got up from his chair and replaced it back at his place</p><p>
  <em>"How are you feeling, right now ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"I look...like in great shape....not talking about what I have on my head !" </em>I said while strecthing my arms and my legs as I sit up at the side of the bed.</p><p>I didn't move since 3 years and my body was acting like it was just one day that has passed...it's feeling good !</p><p>
  <em>"Well, that's great news.... You're okay to leave !"</em>
</p><p><em>"Leave ?...you want me to leave...like that ?" </em>My voice was trembling just at hearing that from him.</p><p><em>"I'm going to answer that question later...Got some clothes for you on that chair" </em>He pointed a chair that was just next to a sink <em>"I need to go take something...I will come back !"</em></p><p>Then, he left the room..just like that, leaving me alone with the order to put some clothes on me. He's acting weird but why is he doing all of this for me ? Is he trapping me ? I can't tell...fuck, I need to stop asking myself questions right now...he's giving me a chance to start over....maybe.</p><p>So I got up without difficulty and I walked to the chair he pointed me. On it, there were everything to get me dressed : jacket with hood, jeans, shoes, a pair of gloves.</p><p>
  <em>Are these things been here since I arrived here ?</em>
</p><p>I looked at them and after that, I looked myself on a mirror just above the sink : seeing my reflection....was now strange, that scar on my head is very visible....and I can't hide this thing. I looked back at the clothes.</p><p><em>"Better to get dressed !" </em>I said to myself</p><p>I removed the hospital gown that I had on me and throw it on the bed and now I was able to dress up rapidly but I still had that question in hand : why Krimilov was helping me ?...Guess I'm gonna wait he's coming back.</p><p>After a few minutes of dressing, I was finally fully clothed and then...I looked back at the mirror, my hands on the sink just to think....I was starting to get something back inside of me...like memories and to remember more deeply....I closed my eyes.</p><p>-----------------</p><p>
  <em>"Broken nose....bad day !"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wasn't longer in that room, it was more like a school toilet and my clothes...kind of military outfit....maybe a military academy ! I was facing a mirror, left hand aggriped to a sink and the other on my face....my nose was bleeding and next to me and there was a guy.....</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is that something from my youth ?</em>
</p><p><em>"Come on...you showed Sergei that you are able to defend yourself !"</em> The guy said to me, leaned against the wall, arms crossed.</p><p><em>"Andrev....that 'ublyudok' took me by surprise....and he broke my nose...he wanted to rape me !" </em>I said, angry</p><p><em>"Damn it, Yirina, can you just be positive, one moment ?"</em> He told me, looking and sounding annoyed </p><p>
  <em>Yirina....is my name !</em>
</p><p>Soon as he finished that I heard the door of the toilets opening and at the same time, the voice of a man.</p><p><em>"Well, well, well....it wouldn't be Yirina...that little whore followed by his little dog ?" </em>I knew that voice : it was Sergei </p><p>I look at him : he had the covering of the beating he received from me because I defended myself and now he was accompanied by two of his friends</p><p><em>"Get lost, Sergei....I beat you one time...I can do it a second time !" </em>I told him my voice mixed between calm and angry.</p><p><em>"Yirina....pathetic, we're too much against you...and your 'Perseus' is not here !"  </em>He was smirking just to saying that</p><p><em>"Perseus is not something you want to have problems with, Sergei...and I rectify you : we are 2 against you three....and you know that I'm well trained to take on you...and your stupid friends." </em>I approached him and I poked to make sure he understand my threat</p><p><em> "In fact...."</em> he started to say before stopping to take a look at Andrev <em>"We are 4...against you !"</em></p><p>Just as he said that at the same moment, Andrev turned his back to me and gave me a violent kick in the left knee and I found myself on the ground....on my right knee.</p><p>
  <em>Fucking bastard !</em>
</p><p><em>"What's the fuck...Andrev...."</em> I started to said</p><p><em>"Sorry, Yirina...but Sergei is a better friend than you...." </em>He told me proudly as he walk next to Sergei</p><p>I saw then Sergei that was putting his hands inside his pants</p><p>
  <em>"Now...you will have the pleasure...to do me a favor...."</em>
</p><p><em>"In your dream, asshole !" </em>I said </p><p>With all I got left in me, I clenched my right fist and in one time, I punched him very hard in his private parts....making him scream in pain and step back at the same time, I wanted to get up to take on his friends but I received another punch in the face by Andrev...sending me in the ground on my back. At the second that I fell on the ground that the three quickly walked by me and was holding each part of my body.</p><p>I wasn't able to move my arms....and my legs. I can't do anything as Sergei finished screaming and that traitor Andrev spoke to him.</p><p><em>"What do you want to do, Sergei ?" </em>He asked as he was holding my legs</p><p><em>"Remove her clothes..her underwear....we're gonna see how much that girl is a little whore !" </em>Sergei responded </p><p><em>"Let me go !"</em> I said furious</p><p>Sergei approached me, his friends holding me &amp; removing my clothes...I couldn't do anything...apart to scream but I was all alone.</p><p>"LET ME GO !" </p><p>And then, it was all black !</p><p>----------------</p><p>I reopened my eyes still hearing myself screaming....I was still looking at the mirror and breathing loudly &amp; rapidly just to having his memory back. But that memory...I already had it a long time and I talked about it....to Park !</p><p>I remembered it : it was the day...I was raped and now I was able to see what really happens that day. Betrayed in the back by someone you called friend and get your innocence stoled by a group....just like Adler...just like the CIA. I've got a life full of lies, of tragedies....and this memory was just a little part of it.</p><p>Now, I need to show them : I will not get no longer stab in the back !</p><p>
  <em>No more !</em>
</p><p>Yirina....was my name before all of that, before I was left for dead at Trabzon. I can still feel that Yirina inside of me screaming for help...wanting her revenge but is she the same Yirina that worked for Perseus ? Was she's always a innocent girl ? Only my memories coming back will answer to that question !</p><p>As I was in my thoughts, I heard the door of the room opening : it was Krimilov...holding a bag in his hands.</p><p><em>"Good, I see that you have dressed up quick...here's your belongings" </em>He said as he was giving that bag to me</p><p>
  <em>"My belongings....what do you mean ?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Everything that was on you when they found you !"</em>
</p><p>I took the bag in hands but I couldn't move just to think that in it, there were my 'belongings' like he said</p><p><em>"But...why are you doing all of this, doc' ?"</em> I asked</p><p>When I asked the question, I sat down on the bed, removing his glasses and then took a breath</p><p>
  <em>"When you were brought in, the authorities forced me to do everything to wake you up and each day, I was suffering threats from them but after the investigations about you stopped, I wanted to wake you....to help you flee from here...away from these monsters !" </em>
</p><p><em>"I'm sorry to hear that...it must have been difficult to be in charge of me...and I'm sorry !" </em>I apologized to him because of me, he was persecutated.</p><p>He only nodded to my apologies and then, I wanted to see what was in that bag.</p><p><em>"But now that you're awake, it's time for you to leave...back to your home"</em> He said while I was checking the bag</p><p><em>"I lost my home a long time ago...I have nowhere to go, doc' !" </em>I responded </p><p>
  <em>"Maybe...returning near someone you loved "</em>
</p><p>Just as he said that, I found in the bag the photo...of Park. She gave it to me before that day....I remember having it in my hand on that cliff...my left hand. That smile on that photo...make me shed a few tears from my eyes, I want to see it again !</p><p>
  <em>I still want to...</em>
</p><p><em>"Yeah but...what can I do if the girl I love...is in the West ?" </em>I said, my voice cracking</p><p><em>"That's exactly what I thought...I know someone that can help you reach the West !" </em>He said proudly</p><p>"You can do that ?" </p><p><em>"Of course...I just need to write it on a piece of paper...and he will help you !" </em>He told me as walked next to a closet where he started to write something.</p><p>I looked back at the picture and put it in one of my pockets. I decided to check the bag again...until my gaze fell on a gun...a M1911.</p><p>
  <em>The M1911 I used !</em>
</p><p><em>"How did you succeed to keep all my things...including the gun ?" </em>I asked, amazed &amp; confused at the same time</p><p>
  <em>"I asked the autorithies to give me everything you had on you that day...it was going to help you to have some memories back and now it's better you took everything back !" </em>
</p><p>I was checking the M1911 in hand : my right hand on his wrist make me remember that I drew it against Adler but did I shot ? To respond to that, I removed the mag and take a look in it....13 bullets and that mag can contain 14 bullets.</p><p>
  <em>I shot a bullet but did Adler receive it ?</em>
</p><p><em>"There were someone else when i was found three years ago ?"</em> I asked</p><p><em>"No...just you !" </em>He said, preoccuped to write</p><p>Maybe I missed or maybe I shot him...enough for him to get away. I put the gun back in the bag and I turned around to see Krimilov : he was getting up to give me the paper</p><p>"There...here's the name of my contact" He handed not only a piece of paper but also a book with a pen and a pack of bills.....10,000 rubles as far I can see the pack.</p><p>
  <em>"A book and...money ?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The book is for you..in case you have memories back. If you write them in it, you can start to have more memories that can come back to you...and the money, it's because my contact is not in Moscow today as he come back here tomorrow night, it's for having means to survive until he returns"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If that book can help me to regain some of my memories, I'll take it !</em>
</p><p>I took everything he had in hands and put them in my bag...but I had the paper in hands and I looked at what he write.</p><p>
  <em>"Dimitri...Belikov ?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You know that name ?" He asked</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No...I was just reading it !"</em>
</p><p>Dimitri Belikov.....I know that name : CIA's mole inside the KGB....the man who helped us get inside the Lubyanka and now...he's the contact of Krimilov. Just at remembering all of this, I decided that it was the first one that I will questioned on what happened at Solovetsky.</p><p><em>"Now, you can leave....you got everything back and I have no reasons to keep you here !" </em>He gave me his hand again</p><p><em>"Thanks you with everything, doc'...I will not forget about you !" </em>I replied as we both shook hands.</p><p>After that, he opened the door...giving me signs that I'm free to walk out but before I can walk outside, he stopped me.</p><p>
  <em>"Oh...I forgot to ask....What's your name ?"</em>
</p><p>A simple question that was all hard for me : my identity was stolen....and even if I remember my first name, it was hard for me to decide...until now.</p><p><em>"Call me Bell !" </em>I said as I walk out</p><p><em>"That's....not a name !" </em>He told me</p><p><em>"I made it one !" </em>I replied, proudly of my answer</p><p>Even if Bell was a name given to me by the CIA, it was my new name now....and I was proud of it.</p><p>
  <em>I'm Bell !</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm Bell...and I have a job to do !</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A new freedom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bell got out of the hospital she has been for 3 years and now, she had no choice but to wonder around.....</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As I walk inside the numerous hallways of the hospital, it was feeling strange for me because after 3 years, I was like free but not entirely because I still see myself as a stranger in here. My body was crying of joice each time I was getting next to the exit like someone getting out of prison. I couldn't look at anyone else during my walk, ashamed of the scar I've got now at the side of my head, it's not a thing I'm proud of, I can't be proud of this because Adler made me this.</p><p>Carrying all of my belongings inside the backpack Krimilov gave me, I was still stunned to have everything returned back to me even the M1911 I used in Solovetsky but also the fact that the KGB was no longer watching me, waiting that I woke up. I was now like a ghost to everyone and I think that what I am right now. Everyone forgot me and that's better, I think. </p><p>Finally, I reached the entrance of the hospital where there were a lot of people waiting around. I didn't pay attention and I walked directly to the exit and I opened the door. For the first time in 3 years, I could feel the cold air touching my skin and breathing the air of this newfound liberty I was given thanks to Krimilov. I didn't know what to think right now but I was holding back my tears to be outside and appreciate that moment. </p><p>After staying a few moments not moving outside, I decided that it was time to me to move on and to walk away but where exactly ? I was lost in a city that I don't remember. I was maybe born here, raised here but I can't remember at all. I was now a complete stranger to a city I once knew very well. It was like a new beginning for me but I know only thing : Dimitri Belikov's adress. I couldn't go directly there because he only came back tomorrow night and I needed to find a temporary place to sleep and eat something.</p><p>I started to walk next to a bus stop where a map of Moscow was, I looked exactly where I was : we're were just at a few hundreds meters from the Kremlin at the south of the Moskova.....well, with only that in mind, I decided to go there as my only destination. Belikov was living at a few blocks of the Kremlin and if I can find a place next to it, it would help me greatly. I preferred to walk as I was not far and I prefer to save some money for later. </p><p>Walking in the street of Moscow was difficult for me because of the looks of the bystanders at me, mainly focused on the scar. I put my hood on to hide it and then I was let alone even if some still looked at me. I didn't speak a word at all as my accent was now a perfect british, I still got my russian accent but it was a little changed as before like in my memory I got back inside that room in the hospital. </p><p>All around me, I could see the propaganda of the Communist Party : to the poles, on banners above the street and even on some vans. They were apparently preparing for the 39th anniversary of the conclusion of the Eastern Front of World War 2 and according to the numerous things I could see, it was very important for them. It also gave me the sad truth that I was in 1984 and no longer in 1981.</p><p>
  <em>Damnit !</em>
</p><p>I arrived on a bridge leading in the north side of the Moskova and from afar, I could see the Kremlin. I didn't remember that it was really beautiful from the outside. It's like a big piece of art in a form of a building. I was just smiling to think of that and I focused back on looking in front of me, not wanting to bump into someone. </p><p>When the bridge was crossed, I saw that there were a park just at my left, a little park where there were people walking, talking, lied down on the grass and at the same time, my legs were sort of pleading me to take a break as I didn't stop walking since I got out of the hospital. I entered the park, agreeing to rest my legs a little and searching for a free empty bench.</p><p>Once I found one, I sit on it, keeping my backpack behind me and I look in front of me, blank stare. I was feeling so lonely and lost right now in the heart of the Soviet Union with a goal to reach the West at Berlin but can I really do this ? Is this really possible to return back there where I'm maybe still wanted by the CIA or the MI6 ? I don't know but at least, I have to try my luck. Suddenly, I closed my eyes as I could feel a memory coming back......</p><p> </p><p>I was sit inside a toilet ressembling the same school toilet of my previous memory, still wearing that military uniform......it wasn't the same day but I was crying alone in it, trying to be silent but it didn't work. As I was cleaning the tears that were still flowing, I could hear the door of the other toilet opening and someone enter it.</p><p><em>"You're sounding in pain, Yirina !" </em>It was a female voice, sounding worried.</p><p><em>"Who is this ?" </em>I asked, crying</p><p><em>"It's Freya." </em>She replied </p><p><em>"Sister ?" </em>I whispered loudly......is this Freya my sister ?</p><p><em>"Yirina, don't call me like that, you know that I hate to be called like that."</em> She said firmly <em>"You know well that we're not blood related." </em>She added....that was meaning that this Freya was like a sister to me without been a real one</p><p><em>"I'm sorry, Freya." </em>I excused myself, my voice trembling as I cleaned my tears with my hands</p><p><em>"What's wrong, Yiri ?"</em> She asked as I could feel her getting close to the wall to hear me <em>"I've been looking for you for hours."</em></p><p><em>"They raped me : Sergei and his friends....with Andrev, days ago."</em> I cracked again, crying again <em>"In that very room."</em></p><p><em>"What ?"</em> He sounded shocked <em>"Did you tell Perseus ?"</em></p><p><em>"No, I didn't because I'm scared of his reaction."</em> I responded, chilled out by hearing his name</p><p><em>"Why ? You have to tell him !"</em> She exclaimed</p><p>
  <em>"He said that we need to defend ourselves and that we can't be underestimated but for me, it was all wrong. I'm useless, I can't fight."</em>
</p><p><em>"No, you're not like that." </em>She affirmed in a harsh voice <em>"You're a fighter and you never gave up, that what you told me."</em></p><p><em>"Really ?" </em>I said in a surprised voice</p><p><em>"Yes."</em> She replied <em>"By saying nothing, you let them win that fight. You know well that Perseus will act for you because he cared about you &amp; me."</em></p><p>
  <em>"I....I think you're right." </em>
</p><p><em>"Of course I'm right !" </em>She repeated my words as I got up from the toilet, reasoned by her words. <em>"You're better than this !"</em></p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, everything goes to black before I could open that door. When I reopened my eyes, there were two policemen, one of them were slowly giving me some taps on the legs to wake me up. I was surprised to see that the evening was going to fall on the city.....how much time I was here ?</p><p><em>"Hey, miss."</em> The other policeman said</p><p><em>"Yes ?"</em> I told, surprised as I looked to both mens in front of me.</p><p><em>"The park's gonna closed, you need to leave." </em>He asked me, pointing in the exit direction</p><p><em>"I'm sorry, I didn't see the time, I wasn't sleeping....just thinking." </em>I replied, trying to find an excuse as I got up from the bench</p><p><em>"Whatever."</em> The policeman who was giving taps scoffed, joking around <em>"We don't sleep in here."</em></p><p><em>"Fine, I don't want troubles from you."</em> I rolled my eyes, in annoyance, checking my bag before starting to walk away but at a few meters from them, I was called out by the same man.</p><p><em>"Watch your tone."</em> He started to said <em>"We don't like strangers here....especially those speaking in an british accent." </em>He was referring to my new permanent accent but I didn't respond at all from him, not with someone like him.</p><p>I didn't looked behind as I left the park alone with nowhere to go. I can't go to Belikov's place for the moment, needing to wait tomorrow night to act with him and I don't know my way around. My only choice was to wandering around, walking in direction of the north of the city. More I stay here, more I will start to lose myself much further into Moscow and that was my only thing to do.....getting lost.</p><p>The streets were going to be less noisy as the evening was starting to fall, giving me some calm to clear my head up about the memory I just had : I had someone called Freya who were, like I could see, a sister to me even she wasn't liking to get called like that and Perseus was caring for both of us.....like a father ! No, he can't be someone like this with me. I can't be his daugther, I was just laughing inside my body just to think about this but that laugh stop when I realized that it wasn't funny at all.</p><p>I can't be the daughter of a terrorist like him, I can't, I'm not like that, I'm more than that ! I preferred to forget that thinking for the moment as I focus back on my walk....until I arrived in a place I remember well enough : the Lubyanka building at the other side of the Lubyanka Square.....well, it was weird for me to see it back. The last time I saw it was from the inside, blasting every soldiers in our way with Adler and Belikov. I was wondering at that time how what we did didn't make the URSS declare war on the West.</p><p>Just thinking of that make me rolled my eyes at the sight of the building but then as I was thinking, my chest started to make some noises, meaning one thing : I need to eat something.....maybe just a drink like a tea or a coffee. That can be enough for me. I looked around the Square to see if there were something that can help me : I saw a bar just at my right and I decided to go in it.</p><p>I entered the bar : there weren't a few people, drinking &amp; smoking at the tables as there were no one sit at the bar counter. I removed the hood from my jacket as I step inside, making my scar visible but no one was caring about it....perfect. I decided to sit on one of the stool, preferring to be lonely. Right after I was installed that a woman came in front of me, she was young and mostly the bartender of that place.</p><p><em>"Hi, miss, you want something to drink ?" </em>She asked in a good voice</p><p><em>"Coffee.....and maybe something to eat, if you have." </em>I said with a little grin</p><p><em>"Ok."</em> She responded before she walked next to the coffee machine to prepare one for me. She wasn't afraid of me and that's a first for me. I thought that the scar was going to have a effect on her but no and I preferred that. That proves that I'm not a freak.</p><p>She returned back to me with a cup of coffee a minute later with also a small piece of chocolate cake along with it. I thanked her and start taking a sip of the coffee and took a bite in that cake she gave me. After 3 years, that were the first thing I could eat without someone else help. It was so good, anything could be good after all these times. Then, I realize that the woman didn't move, looking at me.</p><p><em>"I never saw your face around her, what's your name ?" </em>She asked me, curious, her two arms crossed on the counter. </p><p><em>"Yirina."</em> I replied, using my past name instead of 'Bell'</p><p><em>"Tanya....Tanya Petrenko." </em>She then offered her hand to shake and I could only comply and we shook hands, it was the first time someone was willing to talk to me <em>"Where are you from ?"</em></p><p><em>"I don't know, I was born in Russia but....."</em> I scratched the back of my head <em>"I can't remember where exactly." </em>I couldn't tell her that I was a complete brainwashed woman in search of the truth, she looked at me still curious,</p><p>
  <em>"You're sounding british and you have a russian name, that's not strange ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"My parents were british but they came in the URSS before I was born, I never catched the russian accent."</em> I lied, giving her an false explanation to my accent.</p><p><em>"And it's the first time you're in Moscow ?" </em>She raised an eyebrow, looking hungry for answers</p><p><em>"I don't know." </em>I shook my head, looking at my coffee and taking a sip from it</p><p>
  <em>"What do you mean ?" </em>
</p><p><em>"I....have some memory troubles." </em>I bit the bottom part of my lips<em> "Years ago, I've got an accident, triggering those troubles." </em>I couldn't say that someone shot me in the head but my scar was maybe showing the truth</p><p><em>"And you're losing parts of your life because of that ?" </em>She was becoming worried about me</p><p><em>"Yes but today, I've started to recover."</em> I grinned, showing her that I have hope <em>"It's slowly but I have hope."</em></p><p><em>"Don't worry, you will have those things back." </em>She reciprocated by giving me a grin and then, my look fall behind her : there were a picture with two mens in soviet uniforms, dating from the World War 2 in front of a tank. I was curious about it.</p><p><em>"Who's this ?"</em> I asked, giving her a little move with my head to show where I was looking, she looked around to see the picture</p><p><em>"Oh, that's my grandfather : Dimitri Petrenko."</em> She replied, proudly <em>"My father told me that it was taken after the Red Army took Berlin."</em></p><p><em>"They're looking proud on it."</em> I said, focused on the details on the picture </p><p>
  <em>"Yes, I was told stories of the hero my grandfather was. They even released a book where his exploits were given to the public." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I think he must be proud of his actions." </em>
</p><p><em>"He.....he died the same year...in October by an accident." </em>I was now feeling bad for her right now, her grandfather was really a hero at the manners she was telling me this.</p><p><em>"I'm sorry to hear that." </em>I excused myself</p><p>
  <em>"That's okay, don't worry."</em>
</p><p><em>"And the men next to him ?"</em> I asked, intrigued by this man</p><p><em>"It was his friend, I think he was called Reznov." </em>She was knowing not so well about him, according to the voice but that name, I already heard it somewhere but I couldn't remember. <em>"We don't know much from him, my father didn't tell me eno-." </em>Then, she started to look outside behind me, having seen something that she didn't want to see <em>"Shit, not them."</em></p><p><em>"What's the problem?"</em> I asked, not understanding what was happening before I look outside, seeing two men that were maybe around her age, talking outside <em>"Them ?</em>"</p><p><em>"They thought that they're tough thugs." </em>She was sounding annoyed <em>"The one in the brown jacket like to think I'm his girlfriend." </em>I looked at the man she was designating, he was walking like if he was a gangster</p><p><em>"And you're not ?" </em>I guessed, turning around to face her</p><p><em>"Of course not, they are jackass who need to be given a lesson." </em>At the same moment, the two men entered loudly....so loudly.</p><p><em>"Tanya, my beloved." </em>That was the men in the brown jacket shouting, I suppose.</p><p><em>"I'm not your girlfriend, Vladimir."</em> She reaffirmed clearly as the man decided to sit next to me at my right</p><p><em>"Come on, we all know that you love me."</em> Vladimir exclaimed, smirking</p><p><em>"You ? In your fucking dreams."</em> She laughed....not them. I stay silent but then, I could feel the same guy looking at me, I think he saw me smile from her answer.</p><p><em>"What's your problem, scarface ?" </em>He said to me but I didn't say anything, just trying to keep my cool <em>"What make you smile ?" </em>He added, causing me to reply,</p><p><em>"I think you're just a joke, you and your friend." </em>I told him, not even removing the smile of my face</p><p><em>"A joke ?"</em> Vladimir repeated my word <em>"You don't know me well, miss." </em>Then, I could see that he was taking something out of his pocket.....a pocket knife</p><p><em>"Vladimir, stop acting like that."</em> Tanya proclaimed  but without effect</p><p><em>"Shut up, I'm the one talking in here."</em> He put his right hand on the counter while with his other hand, he took his knife and pointed it at me <em>"Do you know who you're talking to, bitch ?" </em>I looked at him in desesperation but in fact , with my left hand, I opened my backpack to reach my M1911. <em>"You want me to give you another scar ?" </em>He added while I get my M1911 in my right hand, keeping it behind me.</p><p>I needed to give that man and his little friend a big lesson in life and to save Tanya from them, I wasn't going to shoot with the gun, just scaring them a lot. So when I was ready, I smiled at him to provoke and I decided to act. With my left hand, I took the knife from his hands pretty quickly and in one second, I planted it right into his hand he left on the counter, causing him to scream in pain and everyone to step back at what just happened.</p><p>His friend tried to intervene to save him but it was too late for him as I aimed my M1911 towards him, making him put his hands in the air and everyone to be stunned. I could see the fear in his eyes and I told him to move back, to let me talk to Vladimir, still holding firmly his knife inside his hand.</p><p><em>"Don't....underestimate me !"</em> I exclaimed, keeping my anger inside of me<em> "I'm maybe not a hero but I will not let someone like you act like that to a woman." </em>I was seeing myself back into that toilet that day and I don't want this to happen again to anyone else</p><p><em>"Who are you ?"</em> He asked me in pain</p><p><em>"I'm someone who has done terrible things and who is trying to redeem herself for what she has done."</em> He didn't respond at all, shocked <em>"You think you are born to act like a gangster ?" </em></p><p>
  <em>"No...."</em>
</p><p><em>"So, stop acting like one because if you don't....." </em>I stopped myself to look around me, a dead silent was in the bar, everyone was looking at me, awaiting for the next part <em>"I will kill you." </em>I removed the knife from his head and throwing it on the ground at the feets of his friend, letting Vladimir go.</p><p>He was holding his wounded hand, looking so scared as hell, same as his friend too. That what will happen to them if they continued in that way.....and I also showed them that I'm someone that can't be underestimated just because I'm a woman. The two left, ashamed, not even taking the pocket knife with them. I decided to took it inside my own pocket and I looked around. Everyone was looking impressed of me like if I was the only one that was able to stand against them. I looked at Tanya, feeling sorry anyway.</p><p><em>"I'm sorry about the blood....and my methods." </em>I said, taking a breath as I saw the little pool of blood on the counter </p><p><em>"Don't worry, they had what they deserved."</em> She exclaimed as I put the M1911 back inside my backpack <em>"I will clean myself." </em>I was feeling sorry about making that type of thing here so I opened my backpack to take some of the money</p><p><em>"That's for the mess I made and also the coffee." </em>I handed her the money but she refused,</p><p><em>"No, that's on me, you have done a great thing today." </em>She told me, giving back the money I gave her to me. I put it back and then I decided it was better to be on my way.</p><p><em>"I will leave, I don't want to cause anymore troubles." </em>I explained to her</p><p><em>"You will come back ?"</em> She asked me, worried. I wasn't so sure about this but I needed to give her an answer,</p><p>
  <em>"I will try my best, Tanya."  I responded before leaving the bar. What happened showed that my skills didn't get away with the time and right now, I was back to the cold air of the night in Moscow.....</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I need a little rest now</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you liked this new chapter !</p><p>It's been a while I didn't upload a new chapter for Bell's story, it will be more frequent in the following weeks.</p><p>(Yes, Freya is "Wraith")</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. So familiar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bell need to find a shelter for the night to survive Moscow cold air and she found it.....a place familiar......</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was now outside of the bar, back into the cold air of Moscow's night, I can say that the city was very beautiful at that time with the lightnings and beauty of the buildings....if we don't count the numerous propaganda posters of the Party and the harsh reality of my current situation : lost in the middle of Moscow with nowhere to go except the fact that West-Berlin was my destination to go and I wasn't going public with that info.</p><p>I checked my watch at my wrist : 10:45 PM. It was getting late for me to stay around and also with the recent events. Since the bar was just located in the Lubyanka Place, I feared that some KGB officers dressed in civilians clothes saw me fighting with those two thugs or some witnesses could report my actions to the police so I needed to be on my way very quick out of here before I got some unwanted troubles for me.</p><p>With no indications and no hesitation, I start to walk in a direction at my right, leaving the Place as I saw some policemen coming to the bar maybe looking for me. Didn't look back with just something in mind right now : find a hot place to have a rest and clear my mind because the cold air wasn't helping me at all. I had to put back the hood on to cover my head and to gain some heat but that was temporary as more time was passing outside, more I was going to think that I was freezing to death.</p><p>I walked through some streets, still avoiding eyes contacts with the others but I was feeling to turning around as some streets were becoming some familiar to me : It's official, I'm really lost in here ! I need to really find a shelter for the night and I preferred to retrace my steps back to the Lubyanka Place.....until I found the shelter I needed : a hotel that was at a few streets from the Lubyanka and I walked in front of it minutes ago, didn't even see it at the first sight.</p><p>I was decided and then, I walked to get to the hotel, passing the street before entering in it : at the first sight as I walked inside, the reception was looking pretty decent and charming and there weren't a lot of people : just me, a woman with her son and the female receptionist that was greeting them inside the hotel before letting join their own room and now it was my turn. I walked in front of the reception desk, removed my hood and presented myself.</p><p><em>"Hi." </em>I started, sounding so shy that my cheeks goes red jusy because I wasn't ready to be the first one to talk</p><p><em>"Hello, what I can do for you ?" </em>The receptionist asked, looking at me with a smile</p><p><em>"Uhm...a room, please."</em> I replied while I was streching my fingers from the cold.</p><p><em>"You're single or you're awaiting for people to join you ?"</em> She said, awaiting my answers, putting her hands behind the desk.</p><p>
  <em>"Single, I'm travelling alone." </em>
</p><p><em>"Ok, I will see if there's any room for you." </em>She looked away from me, looking at somewhere that was not in my gaze, hided by the reception desk until she stopped and looked back at me. <em>"Wait, do we know each other ?" </em>She asked me like that, surprising me</p><p><em>"I don't think."</em> I narrowed my eyes, my memories juggling to see if I saw this woman before but nothing in my brain could help me. Then, she snapped her fingers, having maybe found something.</p><p><em>"Wait, I remember !"</em> She exclaimed like that, pointing her hand to me<em> "You came here before."</em></p><p><em>"Really ?"</em> I scratched the top of my head in the incomprehension, wondering what did she have in mind.</p><p><em>"Yes, 3 years ago !"</em> At this moment, this hotel was becoming at little bit familiar to me as she continued <em>"You came with a group of people : there were a guy with sunglasses and scar at his jaw."</em> She showed on her face where the scar was.....It was Adler ! <em>"There were another guy who were very tough and had a beard." </em>That was Lazar <em>"There were also a black man with an baseball hat." </em>Must be Sims</p><p><em>"That was it ?"</em> I said</p><p><em>"No, there were also a woman with your group : black hair, scarf around her neck and you were holding hands together.....I don't remember her name...."</em> She looked at the ceiling with her hand on her jaw, trying to find the name that I already know......</p><p><em>"Park...."</em> I whispered, looking at the ground, holding back my tears just to say her name again and apparently I raised my voice long enough to be heard.</p><p><em>"That was her name."</em> She told me, removing her hand from her jaw. </p><p><em>"How did you remember my face at all, miss ?"</em> I asked, intrigued by her <em>"Even after 3 years I didn't come here ?"</em> I added</p><p><em>"It's simple." </em>She started before taking a breath <em>"I have a good photographic memory." </em>She laughed, pointing at the side of her forehead with her index finger, I was trying to join her in her laugh but I didn't succeed to do it,</p><p><em>"Not like me."</em> I said, rolling my eyes and gaining her attention on me,</p><p><em>"What do you mean ?" </em>She raised an eyebrow, curious</p><p><em>"It's a long story but I'm losing my memories."  </em>I grinned a little, trying to not break down for the second time in a day <em>"Got an car accident who caused me to lose them."</em> I showed the scar I had on the head <em>"But I'm recovering." </em></p><p><em>"Like you said, it's a long story." </em>She repeated, biting her lips and looking at her desk. This caused a little moment of silence between the two before I decided to speak again,</p><p>
  <em>"About the room..."</em>
</p><p><em>"Oh, yeah." </em>She moved back to normal, getting back to searching a room for me <em>"Oh, I see that the room you used 3 years ago is free, I can put you in here if you want."</em></p><p><em>"You can do that ?"</em> I asked, surprised</p><p><em>"Of course !"</em> She exclaimed, giving me a smile. She started to look behind her, there were a cupboard with multiples keys in it. She searched for a while until she found the one she was looking for and once in hand, she handed it to me <em>"Here it is, room 254 : single room at the second floor."</em></p><p>
  <em>"Single room ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"You're sounding surprised." </em>She raised an eyebrow again</p><p><em>"Yeah, I....I was with...uh...Park at that time and I thought we slept together." </em>I responded, expressing my thoughts I had in the moments</p><p><em>"Well, it happens that a little argument between this 'Park' and the guy with those scars occured for the rooms."  </em>Talking about this was making her smile <em>"At the end, the guy won the argument and everyone was forced to sleep in differents separate rooms all across the hotel."</em></p><p><em>"Damnit, he was really like that ?"</em> I said to myself, thinking about Adler and his manners, he was really against the relation I had with Park even after everything that happened. <em>"Sorry, talked to myself."</em> I told the receptionist who understand the situation by nodding.</p><p><em>"Do you need anything else ?" </em>She asked</p><p>
  <em>"About paying the room...."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're staying for how long, exactly ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"Just for a night, I've got to see an old friend in town tomorrow." </em>I replied, sincerely </p><p><em>"You can pay tomorrow before your departure. Breakfast is included in the price if you want to know."  </em>With everything I needed to know about the place, I took the key she left on the desk and started to be on my way.</p><p>
  <em>"Well, thanks you, miss." I said before leaving</em>
</p><p><em>"Have a good night !" </em>She exclaimed as I left the reception room.</p><p>I didn't expect something like that to happen but by the odds, I found myself to be back into the place we used during our travel in Moscow to break inside the Lubyanka and I never thought that we used a ordinary hotel to do that. I was expecting another CIA safehouse hidden somewhere in Moscow instead of that but Adler did really put the team in a hotel.....I'm quite surprised of that. </p><p>As I was walking to get to the stairs, I started to hear some voices.....voices that was familiar to me : it was Lazar...and Park. They were talking about me and according to the voices, I was talking with them too. We were having a friendly discussion where Lazar found out about me and Park and he was very impressed and supportive for the both of us and at the sound of my voice, I was sounding so happy...and relieved to have someone approve our relation, giving me a smile.</p><p>I got up the stairs, still hearing that discussion in my head until I start to to hear Adler's voice coming too, he wasn't happy at all, arguing about the time and the fact that we needed to rest for the next day but as I was at mid-way in the stairs, I heard his voice.....</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"We have a job to do !"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hearing this make me froze in place, stopping all of my body in the stairs. I could feel my face becoming all white and my hands were shaking furiously. I put them on the railing to control them and to make sure I will not lose my balance by standing and doing nothing. I needed to catch my breath but each time I was getting it back, I could hear it again like if he was there, looking at me at the top of the stairs.....</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"We have a job to do !"</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>"Shut up !" </em>I whispered as I started to walk again slowly to make sure I'm not going to pass out and falling in the stairs. All my movement was like a fight for me and I had to go step by step, trying to cover my ears, not wanting to hear him again. My vision was becoming blurry as I arrived at the second floor meaning that I needed to join the room in the seconds now. </p><p>With my keys in hand, I was arriving slowly at the front of the room I supposed to have used years ago but again I hear that damn phrase in my head but also like if he was there next to me, I needed to open that door but my shaking hands weren't helping. I had to put my hand on the other to calm the shaking and that seemed to working as I stabilize them enough, allowing me to open the door and quickly enter the room and closed the door behind me.</p><p>Once it was closed and locked, I decided to catch my breath and for helping me a little, I walked to the window of the room and opened it, giving me back the cold air on my face and making me feeling a little bit better than before. I couldn't stay long enough at that window, not wanting to catch a cold and I closed it. I was still amazed by the view of the room, giving on the Moskova and after watching it, I decided to focus back on the room I didn't have time to focus when I entered it.</p><p>It was simple for me and pretty nice for the night : a single bed in front of me, a desk in front of the bed, a little room that I supposed to be the bathroom and some closets.....just enough for me. I decided to remove my jacket and put it on the chair while I put my backpack on the desk. I then sit on the edge of the bed looking around the room. It was like the first time I saw this room even if right now, I know that I came in here before.</p><p>Right now, I wanted to rest but my head was still recovering from what just happened with me and I thought that I could try to recover a memory from my past before going to sleep. It could be anything as long that it's not related to Adler. I decided it was better to get on the chair so I moved to sit on it. I opened my backpack, taking out my M1911 and the book Krimilov gave me as he said that it can help me to keep track and to have my past coming more faster.</p><p>I put the book in front of me and started to open it. At the first page, I decided to write my name on it : <em>Yirina 'Bell'.  </em>Unfortunately, I just know my first name and I hope that my memories could help to find out the last name I lost. With the pen that I had with the book, I started to think but nothing was coming</p><p><em>"Come on, Yirina, think."</em> I whispered to motivate me and I know that to motivate, I needed to close my eyes as before so I took a deep breath and I closed them and finally, I could remember something........</p><p> </p><p>As I open my eyes, I was sitting on a sort of office inside something looking like headquarters.....like......the Lubyanka. I had an office in the Lubyanka ? By the look of it, it was a yes. This office was looking like any other inside the Lubyanka with some photos of me younger with someone I couldn't tell : a woman with blonde hair.....and Perseus next to us. Is that this 'Freya' or someone else ? Someone from my family ?</p><p>I was dressed in a KGB officer outfit and luckely, I had pants, not the horrible skirt I had to wear on the day I broke inside the Lubyanka. I was examinating a gun closely : a Makarov as I can see. At the same time, I was smoking a cigarette and it was the end of it. As I was finished with the gun, I could hear someone knocking at the door, I put the gun away as I spoke,</p><p><em>"Come in."</em> I said, loudly enough to be heard and just a second after that, the door opened</p><p><em>"Miss."</em> The person said, making a military salute </p><p><em>"Oh, you must be Zasha Smirnov."</em> I smiled and I pointed the chair in front of me <em>"You can have a sit."</em> I added and the person complied to my order, sitting on the chair. They were looking worried.</p><p><em>"Sorry for my late."</em> They excused themself</p><p><em>"It's okay, don't worry." </em>I then put out a file from my desk :their records file. I took it in hands as I readjusted the glasses I had. <em>"Correct me if I'm wrong while I read your resume : I see that you were with the 10th Hichaurskiy Detachment as a border trooper when you were 18."</em></p><p><em>"That's correct." </em>They said, looking away <em>"It's after that I started to study cryptography and I joined the KGB a few weeks later."</em></p><p><em>"Good."</em> I grinned, trying to make them comfortable <em>"It's good to learn about you more, Zasha. It help me to discover more about my colleagues and friends."</em></p><p><em>"You're not....uh....upset about my gender identity ?" </em>They asked, not sure of their own words</p><p><em>"You don't need a gender to do cryptography, that's what I think. You don't need to worry about me, I agree with your choice." </em>I replied, making them smile <em>"Why do you think I asked you to come here ?"</em></p><p><em>"You.....you chose me over the others ?"</em> They were surprised to hear that.</p><p><em>"Well, Perseus saw the potential you had during the test he gave to some KGB agents and according to what he said, you were the best among the others and that's why you're here." </em>I leaned back nicely inside my chair as Zasha was looking more relieved <em>"When he showed the results of everyone, he told me that you managed to complete some exercices in a speed that no one ever witnessed before."</em></p><p><em>"I'm a quick learner and I hope to learn more about your work." </em>They exclaimed with an smile, happy </p><p><em>"You'll be working with me and accompany me on the field where I could learn you some moves in fighting and also in cryptography., I hope you're okay with that ?" </em>I asked them and they nodded, giving their approval</p><p><em>"I'm very happy with that, miss." </em>They added, wondering what will happen next.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>"Zasha, you can call me Yirina."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And then, everything goes to black. It was the end of that memory I have recovered. So, I was a KGB officer operating for Perseus and apparently, I engaged someone called Zasha Smirnov into my team to work alongside me and maybe others. They were looking so nice to me and it was reciprocal from me. Its look like I was not an monster with everyone back in my time inside of Perseus organization.</p><p>I opened my eyes again and I started to write what I saw in that memory and after I was finished to write everything, I was wondering about if I could draw Zasha face on the other page. </p><p><em>"I could give it a try !"</em> I said to myself, thinking of that</p><p>And then, I started drawing and like that, I realized that drawing was a natural thing for me as I could remember everything on their face : their eyes, their hair, their nose.....everything. It was so a surprise for me when I was done and that drawing was amazing to see and look. I just drawed Zasha on that book, the first friendly face I saw of my past. I was holding back my tears as looking at it. I was hoping that they were still alive somewhere and that's the thing that I wanted the most.</p><p>After looking at what I wrote and the drawing, I decided it was best for me to finally get a rest. I put the book back inside the backpack. I got up and I was ready to go to bed.....until I stopped moving by seeing.....Adler standing next to the door.....it was just a vision but he was looking at me, wearing his sunglasses and his orange leather jacket as always....and looking at me. I was petrified by his look and I know what he was going to do.</p><p><em>"Don't do it !" </em>I exclaimed in fear but his only response was to smirk silently and then he look at me,</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Bell, we have a job to do !"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>This time, it was different, I couldn't control anything in my body, I was feeling dizzy and my arms were shaking too much to stop them. Finally, I was so bad that I couldn't stand up no longer and I fall in the bed, convulsing. My vision was the only thing I was able to control right now and that wasn't helping. I stopped moving and I was seeing Adler....this time, in his combat outfit, the same he wore back in Solovetsky, he looked at me in desesperation and gave me some words before I passed out.....</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"It was never personal, kid."</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you like this new chapter ! </p><p>Tribute &amp; credits to mozambique_and_a_dream for Zasha Smirnov character ! <br/>Go check "The Bell Keeps Tollings" because it's so good !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Running away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bell is having her first night freely after her long day after 3 years.....and dreams are coming.....</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I passed out in the bed and I could feel my brain going crazy after everything that happened just minutes ago. It was sure that been crazy is going to be an common thing on the next days and maybe the weeks that will follow. I just go out of the hospital for a day and in the same night, I'm already out again......damnit, I really need to get this situation under control because I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay stable and calm about this everytime. Now, my brain was retriggering specific memories.....Vietnam.</p><p> </p><p>Those memories.....they're not mine and I was hating them so much, there were Adler's. I hate them because of him and that this war was disgusting me at every point. But as the time progress, I start to realize that the memories I was seeing again were the same one I have faced when he tied me up on an stretcher. There were the same : me fighting after my said helicopter crashed down on the jungle through the Vietcongs forces but this time, Adler's voice wasn't there to haunt me.</p><p> </p><p>It was still the same things I was forced to do : grab a M16, help my 'brothers-in-arms' and find that russian bunker in the jungle. The same crossroads in front of me was here : a path to the right, another to the left and an temple in the middle. Luckily, the red door Adler forced me each time to open was in front of me in the temple. If I wanted to get out of this nightmare and rest without been dreaming of Vietnam, I needed to cross that door again and if I had to do it a lot of times, so be it !</p><p> </p><p>I threw away the M16 I was carrying to the side and then moved to open the door, I was greeted by an very long hallway where there were another red door at the other side. Once I closed the door behind me, the walls start to shook violently around me and the ground too. I had no other choices but to run quickly meaning that this door at the other side was my exit door to this nightmare. I was running fast as I can as the walls were falling down behind me. Finally, I managed to get to the door and open it as there were nothing behind me. A big white light was there and it blind me so much that I had to put my hand in front of my eyes but the light was so strong that it take over my hand, blinding me.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, I was free from that nightmare and I could finally have a rest in peace even if it wasn't the best way to get to sleep because of Adler. I know that this will maybe be temporary but at least, I'm free from dreaming about Vietnam for the night and my body was getting better....recovering very fast as I could feel. Right now, I was sleeping and dreaming of good things. There were still that light but then it was away and for an obscure reason, I was.....still running.</p><p> </p><p>This time, I was in a different attire like sportswear.....must be something from my past. I was running along the Moskova in the early morning and in the distance, I could see Zasha also running but they were slower than me as I was catching them up. As I arrived at a few meters behind them, I could hear them.</p><p><em>"Don't say it ! Don't say it !"</em> They exclaimed, hearing me arriving</p><p><em>"On your left !"</em> I passed at their left at full speed and at my sight, I could see them start to run faster </p><p><em>"Come on !" </em>They yelled, fainting an annoyance as I was getting away from them, laughing before I stop myself. </p><p>We were near a park and when I looked behind, I could see Zasha getting sit against a tree. I decided to join them, they were having their hands on their hearts, trying to catch their breath. When they looked at me, they were amazed,</p><p><em>"How could you not be tired from that run ?" </em>They asked, breathing heavily <em>"You just like passed me a lot of times and you're not even breathless." </em>They added</p><p><em>"I've got a lot of trainings, Zasha."</em> I responded, getting on one knee, smiling <em>"I was used to run a lot in my young."</em></p><p>
  <em>"Where did this all start ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"I was told that running could help the body to feel better and to clear my mind." </em>I said, looking at them with appreciation. By hearing this, Zasha rolled their eyes,</p><p><em>"I agree with the second part but not the first."</em> Their voice were stilll catching up, I decided to get on my two knees, not getting my eyes away.</p><p><em>"Don't worry, I was like this at the beginning but you will get used to." </em>I exclaimed as I was fully sit. <em>"We will go slowly but one day, you'll be like me."</em></p><p><em>"Thanks you, Yirina." </em>They said, their voice back to normal <em>"I will try my best."</em></p><p>
  <em>"It's okay.....Zed."</em>
</p><p><em>"Zed ?"</em> They were looking surprised<em> "You're the first person in the KGB to call me like that."</em></p><p><em>"And....you're okay with this ?"</em> I asked</p><p><em>"Of course, I'm surprised because I thought that only my brother know that nickname."  </em>They were grinning a little and I could offer a smile in return </p><p><em>"You need to know that I don't see you just as a recruit like the others but as a good person.....and a friend."</em> I told them, causing them to have a bigger smile<em> "I'm glad to have someone like you in my team."</em> I then got up from the grass, giving my hand to them.</p><p><em>"It's time to continue ?"  </em>They asked as they're getting up, thanks for me.</p><p>
  <em>"No, we're good for today, we're going back to the Lubyanka....and I will buy coffee."</em>
</p><p><em>"Really ?"  </em>Their voice was sounding surprised</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>"You deserve it, Zed."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Then, as we were going to walk away from that park that it was all black again meaning the end of that memorie but as I thought it was done, I found myself back in another location.....in the same hotel room I was right now, wearing different clothes......I remember it now : it was the night before we were going to get inside the Lubyanka. I was closing the door behind me and I wasn't looking so good. </p><p> </p><p>I removed the jacket that was on me and I put on the chair while I was whistling....the anthem of the United Kingdom. It was just the first part as I stop doing that when I look myself inside a mirror that was in the bathroom widely open for me. I was checking myself and when I was done, I left the bathroom and I was ready to go to bed but then, I could hear some knocks on my door. I was curious but I preferred to check who it was in case, I took the M1911 that was on the desk and keep it behind my back. </p><p>I slowly open the door when I realize that it was none other than Park herself in front of me. </p><p><em>"Park ?" </em>I said, surprised to see her here </p><p><em>"Hey, Bell, can we talk ?"</em> She asked, worried. <em>"Inside your room, I mean." </em></p><p><em>"Uh...sure."</em> I replied not sure at all. It just happens one second from my answer that Park decided to enter my room as I opened the door widely for her and once she was inside, I closed the door behind me. She walked next to the bed and I put the M1911 back on the desk.</p><p><em>"So, Bell...."</em> She started before cutting herself</p><p><em>"Yeah, what do you..." </em>I was going to finish but I could see her face becoming thinkful and before I could finish my sentence that I could feel her lips going on top of mines, taking me by surprise and getting my eyes widely open. She put her arms around me and I decided to put my hands on her faces, happy from that kiss.....until she get me in front of the bed and throw me on it. <em>"Wow..."</em> I exclaimed, surprised</p><p><em>"I couldn't resist at all, fuck Adler and his orders." </em>She start to remove her jacket and then her scarf, showing me the scar she had. She just had her shirt on when she start to get on the bed on top of me. <em>"You're so beautiful, Jess." </em></p><p><em>"Park, don't...."</em> I wasn't able to finish that she leaned for a kiss, her left hand was on my thight while the other hand on my waist. She was so lovely but she broke the kiss to look at me with lovely eyes,</p><p><em>"Jess, I love you so much." </em> She added before going to give me kiss on my neck, giving me so much pleasure and lust,</p><p><em>"My god, you're amazing......don't stop." </em>I was so taken by her moves that I couldn't resist too but then, I feel her hand touching my crotch and by that, I don't know why but I was surprised and I wanted to stop. I pulled her back gently. <em>"Wait." </em>I said, catching my breath</p><p><em>"What ?"</em> She asked, worried</p><p><em>"I think....I'm not ready for....this." </em>I exclaimed, looking away</p><p><em>"You're not ready ?" </em>She repeated my words</p><p><em>"I know that's maybe sound stupid but I can't do these types of things tonight, especially with what will happen tomorrow."</em> I defended myself but she wasn't responding at all, causing me to continue. <em>"I would have like to do it too but not tonight."</em></p><p><em>"It would have been some recomfort for you."</em> She said, sounding sad <em>"I want you to feel better, you know ?"</em></p><p><em>"I know, maybe we can make this another day ?" </em>I asked, she nodded and she was preparing to get up until I stopped <em>"Wait, don't leave."</em></p><p><em>"It's better that I return back to my room."</em> She told me but I stop her for good,</p><p><em>"You said 'Fuck Adler and his orders' yourself......why don't you sleep with me tonight ?" </em>At hearing this, she gave me a smile and then, she moved to get next to me.</p><p><em>"Good idea, Jess !"</em> She put her arms around me as we're both now lied down on the bed, under the blankets</p><p><em>"Park, please, call me 'Bell', not....." </em>She then put her index finger in front of my lips,</p><p><em>"You're not only Bell, not just an nickname, you have a name." </em>She smiled at me, not giving it away <em>"You're Jess to me."</em> She removed her finger from my lips and then, she put her head on my shoulders. I took her in my arms,</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>"Thanks, let's get these lights off !"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I moved to get the lights off and again, it was all black for me. This time, it was time for finally have the sleep I deserved since I've got inside the hotel. I was thinking of nothing except of me sleeping at all. No Vietnam, no Adler, no CIA, nothing. I just wanted now that all the night I was going to do in the next days will be like this one.......if we don't count the manner I had to go to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>After some hours, I finally woke up from my discomfort slowly. My eyes were still hurting me and my body was still recovering again despite I was feeling better during my sleep. By reflex, I looked at my left, hoping to see Park in my arms but it was just a dream. By seeing that she was not here at my side, I was going to cry, holding back my tears but I resisted anyways in a difficult way. I wanted this to be true but she was not here, I was alone in that hotel room again, trying to find my way out.</p><p> </p><p>After some times, I woke up from the bed, I didn't have blankets on me and I was still dressed in my clothes. I checked the watch I had.......2:55 PM......Wow, I did sleep a long time in that bed......so long that I have maybe miss the breakfast. I walked to the desk when I decided to write in the book about the dreams I've got from my old life and also about Park, wanting to remember her more frequently. </p><p> </p><p>It was time for me to move away and to be on the loose again in the streets of Moscow. My meeting with Belikov was for tonight and for the remaining of the day, I don't know where I could go.....maybe going back to the bar I was yesterday night ? Well, that's the only solution I've got in mind for the moment. I put back my jacket on and other things inside the backpack and then, I got out of the room, hoping to not return in that room again.</p><p> </p><p>I walked inside the hallway of the hotel to return to the reception and thanksfully, there were no other voice inside my head during my walk, not even Adler's one. I arrived in the reception room where the same women was there at the reception desk. I took the money in my backpack and I approched the desk,</p><p><em>"Hi....I would like to pay for the room."</em> I started, putting the money on the desk <em>"I did miss breakfast however." </em>I added, concerned</p><p><em>"Oh, you woke up lately ?" </em>She asked</p><p><em>"Yeah, had some nightmares and dreams that got me stuck in bed." </em>I replied, smiling </p><p><em>"Okay, I can remove the breakfast from the price." </em>She then took the money.... a part of it as she left some notes on the desk, allowing me to take them back. <em>"Oh and.....you have a letter for you !"</em></p><p><em>"A letter ?" </em>I said, taken aback by what I just heard <em>"Someone knew that I was here ?" </em>I was scared as hell, what if Adler was looking at me right now ?</p><p><em>"Oh no in fact.....it's a letter from 3 years ago !" </em>She exclaimed, allowing me to get relieved but not for long,</p><p><em>"Wait, 3 years ?"</em> I repeated, shocked to hear that I have been adressed a letter since 3 years ago <em>"You kept a letter for me during 3 years ?"</em></p><p><em>"To be honest, when I realized that you came here before and after you have gone inside your room, I decided to check if we had anything adressed to you....and I found this." </em>She put a letter on the desk where I could what was written on it : 'Bell'</p><p><em>"Who has done it ?"</em> I asked, taking the letter, trembling.</p><p><em>"It's that women....Park." </em>She started making the same move she did yesterday when she was thinking <em>"The morning after you arrived, she said that she would have like us to give this letter to you but unfortunately, we didn't have the chance to gave it to you because of the same guy with the scars." </em></p><p><em>"I....I don't know what to say."</em> I was so surprised right now that I just wanted to leave the hotel to read that letter. <em>"I think I need to leave right now, I'm going to be late for my meeting with my friend." I then start to walk away as the women spoke,</em></p><p><em>"I hope you will return to our hotel, goodbye." </em>She said, I didn't look back and then I was out of this hotel and I decided instead of reading the letter to move away, putting the letter in my pocket</p><p>As I said, I needed to go somewhere I could wait until the night and my only solution right now was to go back to that bar owned by Tanya on the Lubyanka Place. With that in mind, I decided to walk to that direction. The heat was more better than yesterday and I could let my jacket open instead of getting it all closed because of the cold, it was still cold but not so cold in reality.</p><p>After a few minutes, I arrived to the Lubyanka Place that were very crowded and I just wanted to get to that bar quickly. I arrived in front of it but I was surprised to see that the bar was unfortunately closed this day.....damnit, this place could have been a perfect shelter until the night come and now, I saw that it was closed for the day, meaning that I have to go somewhere else. I was going to walk away until the door opened by itself, it was Tanya,</p><p><em>"Hey, Yirina."</em> She said, remembering my name.</p><p><em>"Tanya."</em> I started, scratching the back of my head<em> "I thought that you were open today."</em></p><p><em>"No, the bar's closed today." </em>She replied</p><p><em>"Because...because of me ?"</em> I asked, curious as I thought that the event that happened last night did make noises but she shook her head,</p><p><em>"Not at all, it's just that I don't work today and since I'm the only one holding the bar, I'm not opening." </em>She then looked at me worried <em>"You seem lost."</em></p><p>
  <em>"Well, that place was the only way for me to get some.....talk and peace but...." </em>
</p><p><em>"Oh, you can enter, you know !" </em>She then moved away from the door, to let me enter but I wasn't so sure. <em>"Don't worry, you're not bothering me." </em>As she was nice with me, I complied and then I entered the bar, it was very changing from last night : more silent and more peaceful. <em>"Sit to the counter, I will get you something." </em>She moved behind the counter as I complied again to her order.</p><p>I was troubled by her kindness towards me but she was the only person that was so grateful to let me enter the bar even it was closed for the day. After a few moments, she arrived in front of me with a coffee and something to eat. I was going to reach my backpack for money when she stopped me,</p><p><em>"That's okay, I'm so grateful for what you did last night that I decided to make you an permanent guest." </em>She said, proudly with a big smile</p><p><em>"Really ?" </em>Again, I was troubled and I put my hands away from my backpack, back on the table</p><p><em>"You did something that I thought no one was going to do for me." </em>She exclaimed, crossing her arms on the counter <em>"Thanks you again."</em></p><p><em>"I did what I have to do, Tanya."</em> I took a sip from the coffee before talking again <em>"I can't let that happen again after what I have experienced in my life."</em></p><p><em>"What happened ?"</em> She asked</p><p><em>"Bad things, you don't want to know exactly what."</em> I could see on her look that she wanted to know more but I couldn't talk about it <em>"No, don't insist, it bring me bad thoughts."</em></p><p><em>"I'm sorry, it just that.....you're a mysterious woman for me."</em> She said worried <em>"After what you told Vladimir yesterday, I was questioning myself about you." </em></p><p><em>"You want to know who is this woman who came in your bar, beat a guy to defend the oppressed and fly like an angel, right ?" </em>I said, obviously<em> "It's complicated but I can tell you." </em>I can tell her but not everything</p><p><em>"I'm listening." </em>She whispered as I took a last sip before starting,</p><p>
  <em>"In my past, I did bad things. I was aligned with bad people and someday, those people left me for dead and by luck, I was saved by someone who has good intentions.....He gave me a chance to redeem myself if I follow him against my former employers and that's the thing I did." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But, you're looking sad about it, why ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"I thought this man was good but instead, he decided to dispose of me, he shot me in the head because he considered me as a 'loose end'."</em> I was holding back my tears at saying that <em>"I survived but at the cost of 3 years of my life."</em></p><p><em>"You were in a coma ?"</em> She was shocked, removing her arms</p><p><em>"Yeah, 3 years....and I woke up yesterday." </em>I was feeling so bad for myself at this moment but I couldn't leave <em>"Now, I just want to find the one I loved and.....maybe get my revenge." </em>I took the letter I have in my pocket and put it on the counter </p><p><em>"What's this ?" </em>She asked, looking at the letter</p><p>
  <em>"Someone she gave me 3 years ago." </em>
</p><p><em>"She ?" </em>She was taken aback by this<em> "You're....you're a lesbian ?"</em></p><p><em>"Yes, I am." </em>I smiled to her <em>"Bad things happened to me like I said and I......I was getting more happy with a woman at my side." </em></p><p><em>"Oh, it's.....wonderful for you !" </em>She was sounding happy by saying that</p><p><em>"Thank you."</em> I simply said, looking at the letter with the temptation of reading it now but Tanya could see in my eyes that I was hesitating,</p><p><em>"You didn't open it ?" </em>She asked</p><p>
  <em>"No." </em>
</p><p><em>"You didn't see her for 3 years, you have to read that letter." </em>She told me, looking at me with wide eyes and she was right : I need to read it. I start to slowly open the letter and I start to read it :</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jess</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm writing this letter for you because I wanted to say how much I love you and I'm so happy to be at your side because you don't realize how much you make me feel more good than before you came inside my life of MI6 agent. I'm feeling more like an free woman when you're around because you make me so happy and smiling in these difficults times for me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know that last night, you weren't willing to have some intimate moments between the two of us and I can understand it. I can say that I was getting to the things so fast as we just met 2 weeks ago and that we kissed after our operation in Ukraine but I was so willing to make you feel better before your operation today and I hope you can understand my vision. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't want you to feel bad after you refused that night because we both know that we finally sleep together despite Adler's orders, like we said : 'Fuck Adler and his orders'. But unfortunately, Adler broke in your room in the early morning and caused me to leave, I wanted so badly to stay with you until you woke up but Adler been Adler, I had no choice but to leave.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm sorry about everything and I hope you will be able to forgive because right now, you have a big place inside my heart and I can't afford to lose you in any occasions. You're special to me, Jess. I really want to work with you in the future as a team but most importantly as two womens who loved each other. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you from the bottom of my heart !</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Helen</em>
</p><p> </p><p>After finishing the letter, I was so moved that tears start to flow from my eyes, she wanted to be with me and I wanted that to but Adler got in and make sure that things never happens. Now, I was going to get back to her and face Adler after 3 years in a coma. I slowly put the letter away, still having tears and keeping a little smile.</p><p><em>"So, what did she said ?"  </em>Tanya asked, worried</p><p><em>"She said...."</em> My voice was cracking by the weight of the emotions <em>"She said that she was proud of me and that she wanted to stay with me even with what happened to me 3 years ago."</em></p><p><em>"I'm so sorry."</em> Tanya said, putting her hand above my left hand <em>"Maybe 3 years has passed but you have the chance to see her again." </em></p><p><em>"I know."</em> I replied, slowly removing my hands from the counter<em>"I have to meet with an old friend tonight that can help me with that and I think I need to prepare myself in advance for that." </em>I then decided to stand up, determined to leave and go to Belikov's place. <em>"I....it was a pleasure to meet you, Tanya. I hope I will come back here to see you again if I'm coming back to Moscow."</em></p><p><em>"I hope so too, Yirina."</em> She smiled at me, both of us knowing that it will be a long time before we could see each other again <em>"Good luck on your mission."</em></p><p><em>"Thank you, I hope you will gel well too."</em> I looked at her and I nodded before I start to leave the bar with only one thing in head at this moment, thinking about my next move,</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I'm coming for you, Belikov !"</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you liked this new chapter !</p><p>Jess was Bell's false name during her time in Adler's time</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Getting help</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bell is ready to face Belikov after awaiting for an day but there's a little problem to deal with before.....</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Out of that bar again, the evening was going to fall in a few hours, leaving me just with some walk to do before I could directly go to Belikov's place. I wanted to go immediately at his location but I started to thought of something : the park I was yesterday was looking like the same one I remembered in my dream with Zasha and I needed to check my doubts about this. So, my invitation with Belikov will have to wait for the moment as the evening wasn't there yet.</p><p>With only that in mind, I walked into the direction I first arrived yesterday to enter the Lubyanka Place and now to leave it. I repeated the same things I did each time : put my hood on, don't look at the others, stay focused on your walk and not in the others &amp; above all, don't speak at all because of my now-british accent. I was maybe strange for the others but I don't care about this, I needed to have a low-profile around, hoping to not meet someone I knew in my past life and not been able to recognize them at all.</p><p>After some minutes, I arrived back to the park I was and I walked alongside the Moskova.....it was the same place that was in my dream and I could found the same spot Zasha sat on. Since there were no one at this place, I decided to sit a little against the tree, looking at the Moskova and trying to clear my head from everything. I put my diary from my backpack to look at what I wrote about this particular dream : I didn't remember that I was a experienced runner......and I realized that I wasn't bad at all, I was nice and proud to work with Zasha.....What if I was good even if I was inside Perseus organization ?</p><p>I tried to think about getting a new memory out of my brain to see again for an hour but this time, I couldn't. Maybe it was because that the last time I tried that in public, I was accosted by 2 policemen, ordering me to get out of that park. It's better to do it in private and before sleeping than in public and by speaking of the devil, I could see the same 2 policemen coming inside the park and they were looking at me......there's something wrong about them as they didn't stop to look at me.</p><p>To confirm my doubts, I decided to walk away from the park into the direction of Belikov's place, fainting to be naive enough to not look behind me and then, I could realize in horror that these 2 policemen were following me from afar. They should have followed me since they saw me in that park.....maybe because I was an stranger for them or for something I'm not aware of. With them following me, I couldn't took the risk to join Belikov while those guys are on my tail. So I have to dispose of them by force. </p><p>After I walked in the Moscow's streets still going at the direction I need to go, I saw a big but discreet alley at my right that can be used to my advantage to take them by surprise. I took a look behind me and then I engaged inside the alley before hiding behind a big dumpster. I prepared my M1911 in case but I couldn't use it without making noises all around the neighborhood, it's just for safety and then I could hear some voices just arriving inside the alley.</p><p><em>"I told you I saw her, getting in there !"</em> Someone exclaimed....it was the rude policeman from yesterday</p><p><em>"Well, we're gonna check."</em> It was the other policemen <em>"She can't be able to have escaped this dead-end alley." </em>They started to walk slowly inside the alley</p><p><em>"When we're going to tell Perseus that we saw her....."</em> The rude policeman said......shit, Perseus is still around ? Damnit ! Those guys are Perseus agents !</p><p><em>"He doesn't know yet but I'm sure he's going to be happy to learn that we found......what's she called again ?" </em>The other asked and their voices were getting higher....and closer to me</p><p><em>"Yirina."</em> The rude guy responded<em> "It's been 3 years now that he lost her."</em></p><p>
  <em>"And what's so special about her ?" </em>
</p><p><em>"Perseus apparently raised her but she wasn't his child.....just an orphan he took care off during all her life." </em>Hearing this put chills and shock in my body, I was raised by Perseus and I lost my parents.....what's the meaning of all of this ? They started to get closer and I prepared for the inevitable.<em> "Must be....." </em>They arrived just next to the dumpster I was using and and it was at this moment I decided to act.</p><p>I got out from my cover and then, I used my M1911 cannon to strike immediately, hitting one of the guys in the neck, causing him to lose his breath and to fall back, I just striked the one who wasn't rude to me, it was the other one who was trying to grab his gun from his holster but too late as I hit him too at his chest with my free hand and then giving him an punch to the face but he pushed me back, causing me to hit the dumpster with my back, giving me some pains and then, he hit me in the face with the strenght he got left. I could start to taste some blood in my mouth and a bad cut on my forehead but I was still on the fight.</p><p>He was going in for another punch until I knee kicked at his legs, causing to fall for good this time and I directly reacted by pulling my M1911 under his chin before he could grabbed his gun. I cleaned some bloods on face and I looked at both guys, I was still amazed that I beat up 2 guys and on top of that, there were Perseus agents but I was thinking that....I needed to be unaware of my state with those guys.</p><p><em>"Who are you ?"</em> I started to ask angry to the man I was aiming to. <em>"Why are you following me ?"</em></p><p><em>"We....we've been looking for you, Yirina." </em>He responded, looking scared</p><p><em>"Who is Yirina ?"</em> I needed to make them believe that I was 'Bell' and even if I'm still 'Bell', I had to reuse my old fake identity for that</p><p><em>"You....you...miss."</em> The other replied, holding his neck, catching his breath after that strike I gave</p><p><em>"I don't think so."</em> I exclaimed "<em>I'm british, not russian !"</em></p><p><em>"No...Perseus....you were with Perseus...." </em>The same guy said, his voice lowered</p><p><em>"Why I would be with him ?"</em> I told him, naive <em>"I'm MI6 !"</em></p><p><em>"You were raised by him, you were KGB.....and the americans captured you three years ago." </em>This time, it was the rude guy</p><p><em>"Bullshit !" </em>I laughed nervously <em>"Why are you following me ?" </em>I asked again to the rude guy,</p><p><em>"We swore it : it's the truth !" </em>He pleaded <em>"We just found you like that in that park when we realized that you were an person of interest from our organization."</em></p><p><em>"Admitting that you're maybe saying the truth, what you will do with me ?" </em>I said, still holding the gun to them</p><p><em>"We just wanted to discuss with you and then to brought you back to him."  </em>The rude guy breathed a lot, scared<em> "We were going to announce the news to him !"</em></p><p><em>"I'm sorry but...."</em> I stopped myself to whisper something to his ears <em>"Perseus can go to hell, I know who I really am." </em>At this moment, I knew that I couldn't let them alive because they will tell Perseus about me and I couldn't risk that for the moment. I removed myself from him but I discover that the other were trying to reach for his gun. I reacted quickly, shooting two bullets to him : one in his chest, the other in the head, killing him.</p><p>The rude guy decided to reach for my gun, trying to use it against me but I was more stronger and I pulled the trigger right below the chin, the blood getting on my hands and on the ground. I was going to dispose of them but not with my gun and now, everyone must have been alerted of the gunshots and I knew that I needed to get the hell out of here before been caught. We weren't far from the Lubyanka and that was a big risk to do that type of things around.</p><p>I pulled the M1911 back under my jacket and then to run away from that alley before the polic arrive. I hid my hands from the sight of the others for the moment.....I was awaken for one day and I just killed two persons in cold blood and on top of that, there were Perseus agents.....great ! I decided to go directly to Belikov's place, not wanting to have that kind of troubles now and washing my hands in an public restroom. </p><p>It wasn't so far of that, he was living in an chic apartement complex and when I arrived in front of it, the evening was going to fall on the city. I didn't know that he arrived back at this place and I couldn't step back. He became my only way to get me out of the USSR and to arrange things that I'm going back at the West. I entered the complex and I checked the letterbox to see at which floor he was living and.....last floor, he's living on the last floor.</p><p>I got up the stairs, walking as I was not in an hurry, thinking about what I could ask to him.....well, I think I will have to ask about everything that happened during 3 years because I never got time to pick a newspaper to put me up to date. I was so obvious about the world right now and that was questions I was going to ask.....and now that I know that Perseus is still around, I need to know how did he survive 3 years....</p><p class="">I arrived at the last floor, blown away because it was a big apartment complex....6 floors in total to climb. I think that sport will be something to do about. I walked until Belikov's front door and I knocked but no one came. I knocked another time but again, he wasn't there, meaning that I arrived earlier. I couldn't get out of the complex now that I was there. I decided to install myself, sitting on the stairs leading to the rooftop, hidden in the dark, awaiting.</p><p class="">I had to wait....2 longs hours until I could start to hear someone coming up the stairs and there were something that could tell me that it was Belikov by one thing : he was whistling happy....the American national anthem. A KGB officer....whistling the anthem of their nemesis. I can't believe how he was still there as an KGB officer after what happened three years ago in the Lubyanka but with the CIA with him, I could suppose that they should have clear him from everything.</p><p>He walked to get at this door, having in his hands some suitcases. He was dressed in his officer uniform. He started to look for his keys, still whistling and it was at this moment I decided to intervene. My hood on, I took my M1911 in hand and I started to move down the stairs,</p><p><em>"You know what they do to traitors, right ?"</em> I said in english, my sudden appearance caused him to step back because I was holding him at gunpoint <em>"Open that door, Belikov."</em></p><p><em>"Who are you ? KGB ?" </em>He asked, pulling his hands up</p><p><em>"You're deaf ? Open that door !"</em> I ordered, raising my voice and my gun to him</p><p><em>"Okay !"</em> He said, scared while grabbing his keys and opening the door. I gestured him to go inside as I followed him. He took his suitcases and enter the apartment as I was just behind him. Once I'm inside of it, I closed the door with my foots, keeping my hands at his sight. He put his suitcase on a table and then looked at me, hands up.</p><p><em>"Sit !"</em> I pointed to him a couch and he complied immediately as I decided to sit on another seat next to the couch, he removed his hat and jacket but he was making sure that I wasn't going to shoot him.</p><p><em>"What do you want ?" </em>He asked <em>"And who are you ?"</em></p><p><em>"I'm asking the questions here, Belikov !"</em> I exclaimed as I was now sit on the seat, I decided to reveal myself, I removed my hood with my left hand while keeping the gun in the other <em>"Do you recognize me ?" </em>I said after my hood was off and looking at me make him realize who I was</p><p><em>"No.....no, you're Bell !"</em> He started to said, shocked. He was the first one from my time inside Adler's team to recognize me <em>"I can't believe it."</em></p><p><em>"Same for me, I thought to have died 3 years ago and here I am !" </em>I whispered, looking at him <em>"Feeling so lost in a city that was my homeland and now, I'm in need of answers.....and you will answer."</em></p><p><em>"I will answer everything, miss Bell."</em> He told me before gesturing to me <em>"But can you remove this gun from me ?" </em>He asked and I wasn't sure to do it <em>"I swear that I will not do anything to you."  </em>I lowered my gun, keeping it in hand in case on my tights,</p><p><em>"Keep in mind that I can react quickly."</em> I affirmed <em>"So....first question : what happened after Solovetsky ?" </em></p><p>
  <em>"Well, the hunt for Perseus is still on after 3 years, I don't know if...." </em>
</p><p><em>"Yes, I know that, I had to dispose of 2 of his agents earlier this day." </em>I cut him straight <em>"How it's still possible that he's still around ?"</em></p><p><em>"Everyone thought that everything was going to end at Solovetsky but it wasn't the case. Perseus is still making operations around the world and Adler is still on it !" </em>He replied, leaning forward to look at me, he was sounding more calm but I was still watching him in case</p><p><em>"What happened to Adler ?" </em>My second question.....</p><p><em>"He was credited for the success of the operation and he's still leading his team against Perseus, their last success was to stop an Perseus lieutenant to use an project called 'Goldeneye' but I don't know exactly what was the goal of it." </em>He was streching his fingers, little stressed out</p><p><em>"Did he know that I was alive ?"</em> I asked, raising an eyebrow and he was hesitating to answer <em>"</em><em>Answer !"</em> I added, raising a little bit my voice</p><p>
  <em>"At first, he thought that you were dead but that didn't last. One month after the events of Solovetsky, his team were asked to save one of my BND informants at that time in a hospital."</em>
</p><p><em>"The hospital I was ?"</em> I asked, he nodded.</p><p><em>"Adler was ordered to infiltrate the hospital to get my contact out when he learned from a doctor that you were there alive in a coma." </em>I was so curious about hearing this, Adler knew that I was alive but he didn't finish the job.</p><p>
  <em>"Why he didn't kill me then ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"He realized that you were better in a coma than dead because he thought that you will wake up, having forgotten everything." </em>He responded</p><p><em>"And as you can see, I didn't forget a thing."</em> I smiled nervously <em>"I remember him well : he shot me in the head."</em> I showed the scar I had on the side of my head and then, I wanted to ask one but important question.....<em>"And Park ? What happened to her ?"</em></p><p><em>"Well...."</em> He took a deep breath <em>"Hearing your death didn't make things easy for her, she was feeling guilty for what happened but she holded on."</em></p><p>
  <em>"Where is she now ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"She's still working with Adler's team in West-Berlin, their last operation one week ago was a complete disaster and what I heard, she was beginning to be like the first days after your death."  </em>I was happy inside to have learned that Park was still alive but there were something preoccupying me,</p><p><em>"Did....did she know about Adler's motives ?"</em> I asked, curious and worried</p><p><em>"No, for her, you sacrified yourself in the battle."</em> He looked at me with a sad look <em>"She was with Adler in that hospital, she never learned of your fate." </em>My doubts were comfirmed, Adler wanted to keep Park away from the mission and he was willing to keep it a secret. <em>"They were there because my contact had informations about an Perseus agent hidden inside the Lubyanka."</em></p><p><em>"So, they broke inside of it again ?" </em>I smiled from hearing that</p><p><em>"Yes and this time, they didn't bring guns for the job but there were a little fight with another KGB officer before they flee." </em>He was smiling too, calming him.</p><p>
  <em>"And this Perseus agent ?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's.....it was you !"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Me ?" I asked, shocked</em>
</p><p><em>"They found a cardbox full of your informations in the archives : your real name, your records inside the KGB." </em>He then looked to a door <em>"That box is here." </em>He looked at me, wondering of something <em>"I can give it to you, if you're letting me..."</em></p><p><em>"You can but don't do anything stupid !"</em> I exclaimed, ordering him to get up and he complied, leaving the living room slowly to join the door he was looking at, he came back just after 30 seconds, a box in his hands and he put it on the table.</p><p><em>"Here it is."</em> He breathed</p><p><em>"How did you keep it during all these times ?" </em>I asked, this question is getting common to me these days</p><p><em>"At that time, Adler was ordered to bring that box but when he saw that it was yours, he realized that he couldn't bring it to the CIA because he was also ordered to destroy any evidences of you....even he wasn't able to do it entirely with what I heard....Park have somehow succeeded to save a part of your belongings." </em>He replied, biting his lip at the end, he then took a deep breath <em>"I was put in charge of the investigations for the Solovetsky events, thanks to the CIA and Adler was the one to asked me to stop them."</em></p><p><em>"So it was you ?" </em>I crossed my arms above my chest, grinning.</p><p><em>"He said that Park was getting curious at that time and that if the investigations were still ongoing, she would have found out." </em>He looked down, ashamed <em>"I know you two were getting along well.....and I'm sorry." </em>He added</p><p><em>"You can fix that mistake....if you help me." </em>I said before putting my arms on my legs <em>"I know that you're taking care of the defectors that need to leave the country."</em></p><p><em>"Yes, that's right." </em>He admitted</p><p><em>"You're gonna help me to reach the West and to return to her."</em> I affirmed but he wasn't looking sure from it</p><p><em>"I don't know, the CIA is the one that are making the travel and they can recognize you.....but if I can create a false file about you, it can work."</em> He explained, joining his hands.</p><p><em>"How long can it take ?" </em> I asked</p><p><em>"I can work on it this night and maybe, you're maybe out of the USSR the next day." </em>He replied, smiling at me <em>"The travel will last at least 5 days and it will always CIA's teams to do that." </em></p><p>
  <em>"Well, thanks you for that, Belikov." I then got up from the seat but Belikov stopped me,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you want, you can sleep here for the night, I know that it must be hard for you." He looked at me with a sad face again and I wasn't sure,</em>
</p><p><em>"You want me to sleep here ? How I can be convinced that you will not call the CIA of my presence ?" </em>I told him, clearly.</p><p><em>"Well, I'm helping you, right ?" </em>He spreaded his arms before getting up <em>"I will be in my office if you want to talk, I need to start making your file." </em>He then leave me like that in the living room, getting into the same room he entered minutes ago.</p><p>I was now alone in his living room, feeling like trapped but he convinced me of his good intentions towards me : he's helping me and he was willing to tell me anything about the 3 years even it wasn't everything. I didn't know what to do now as I decided to get on the couch he was, putting my M1911 on the table. I was looking around his apartment, I didn't know that a KGB officer can live that kind of life.....maybe thanks to the CIA's financial help, I could guess.</p><p>On the table were the cardbox where all my old belongings were and I wanted to check them but suddenly, I started to feel so tired and dizzy that I needed to get some sleep right now. My chest was hurting me and my arms were doing the same. I laid down on the couch, putting my hands at the side of my face as a sort of pillow for me. I looked at the box and I could fear some tears coming from my eyes as I started to close my eyes....I was thinking of so many things : Park, my past, a lot of things. I finally go to sleep on that couch and then I could remember an memory.....</p><p> </p><p>I was in the same office in the Lubyanka and I was working on a file, glasses on and Zasha was there too, posted behind another desk. We were both in our uniform : I did remove the jacket of mine as Zasha kept everything on them. At the time, it was like the beginning of the night. As I was finished, I could hear knock on my office door,</p><p><em>"Come in !"</em> I said and in a second, the door opened, a young women in civilians clothes was there, looking at me,</p><p><em>"How is my Yirina is doing ?"</em> The woman asked, smirking</p><p><em>"Freya....what are you doing here ?"</em> I asked, smiling too. <em>So this woman was this Freya from that memory in the restroom!</em></p><p><em>"What ? I'm not allowed to see how you're doing ?"</em> She said, keeping her smirking</p><p><em>"No..."</em> I replied <em>"I thought you were still in Norway for Perseus." </em>She then looked at Zasha, curious,</p><p><em>"Who is this ?"</em> She asked</p><p><em>"I'm Zasha Smirnov, miss." </em>They got up from their chair, giving an military salute and I got up too, getting next to Zasha,</p><p><em>"They arrived in my team last day and they are very good." </em>I smiled at them <em>"I think that Perseus didn't talk of them to you."</em></p><p><em>"No, I didn't have the chance to see him at my arrival."  Freya said before </em>I realized that I forget something,</p><p class=""><em>"Oh, I forget, Zasha. This is Freya Helvig, my....." </em>I stopped myself to look at Freya who were biting her lips <em>"My childhood best friend." </em>She was looking relieved <em>"She's working with Perseus too."</em></p><p><em>"Yirina, I need to talk to you in private."</em> Freya asked while she looked at them<em> "Just me and you."</em></p><p><em>"Okay."</em> I looked at Zasha <em>"You can go now, we will see each other tomorrow."</em></p><p><em>"Thanks you, Yirina."  </em>They replied with a smile before taking what they need before leaving the office, leaving me and Freya in my office. I leaned myself against my desk.</p><p><em>"What do you want ?" </em>I asked, crossing my arms</p><p><em>"I'm no longer with the NIS."</em> She revealed to me, looking down <em>"They found out that I was an double agent."</em></p><p><em>"Shit, they know everything ?"</em> I said, worried</p><p><em>"No, they just think that I have defected to the East, they don't know that I'm with Perseus." </em>She joined at my side, leaning against my desk <em>"Now, I need to tell that to Perseus."</em></p><p><em>"Don't worry, he will not be angry against you."  </em>I pulled my hand on her shoulder </p><p><em>"I don't know, he raised us to make no mistake and that's my fault if the NIS found out." </em>She was sounding ashamed by herself </p><p><em>"He will not be angry !"</em> I repeated <em>"He will be happy that we are now both in Russia." </em></p><p><em>"Yeah, each time he saw us, it's looking like he see us as.....well.....sisters !" </em>She rolled her eyes in the end</p><p><em>"I know : I'm russian and you're norwegian !" </em>I exclaimed with a laugh <em>"He raised us both because we were orphans and we stayed together like sisters."</em></p><p><em>"We owe him a lot." </em>She smiled before I got away from the desk,</p><p><em>"Hey, I'm going to go to see a chess game match since I finished work, you're coming ?"</em> I asked, raising an eyebrow</p><p><em>"You and your chess games...."</em> She rolled her eyes again <em>"Okay, I'm in."</em></p><p><em>"Let's profit that you're here to do some things together."</em> I exclaimed as I walked to get my jacket.</p><p><em>"It's good to see you after a long time, Yiri." </em>She smiled at me while I'm putting my jacket on, I smiled in return, looking happy,</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"As always !"</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Fleeing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bell is having her last day in Moscow as Belikov help her prepare her escape to the West</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I never thought that Belikov will be very trustful and helpful towards me, I was thinking that he was going to be like a typical CIA agent and try to kill me when he will have the chance but he didn't do it and instead, he decided to help me by starting to create a file about me and for sure, I know that I will be leaving the USSR soon.....and it will be with the CIA, I hope that Belikov will find a persuasive way to get me out of the country without having to reveal my identity. </p><p>If the CIA declared that I died three years ago in Solovetsky by an 'heroic sacrifice', they will maybe not found out about me but I think that Belikov was aware that some part of the CIA know the perfect identity of the woman we all called 'Bell'.....an Perseus agent that were brainwashed by Russell Adler in order to gain an advantage against the East and that were disposed off by the same guy. Now, I will need to show them that I'm not someone to be dealed off that easily.</p><p>I wanted to check the box that Belikov gave me but I fell asleep on his couch without having the chances to give a look to my old belongings. My whole body were hurting me while I was sleeping and I could feel that I was crying during the night. I was thinking of Park and everything else about my old memories : after all these times, they were all coming back and each time, I rediscovered them like it was the first time for me.</p><p>I lived a life that I can't even remember right. I'm only able to have those memories coming back in my head each time I closed my eyes while I'm alone or before I go to sleep. Each of them is like a door opening, making me discovering my own life. Am I really a stranger inside my own body ? I still can remember things like my combats skills and maybe cryptography but what happened in my life is like a whole mystery to me and I hope that one day, I will be fully aware of what I lived.</p><p>Waking up was very hard for me : my arms were feeling so heavy and my legs were like burning. I had to redress myself multiple times as I was laying down once I was sit. I then succeeded to stay sit on the couch. I had to clean my eyes too that were too dried after crying during all night and winking a lot of times to get my vision cleared enough to see everything right. I looked at outside and it was a sunny weather. I then looked at the watch at my wrist : it was noon.</p><p>I slept again for a long time like yesterday and I hope to clear that quickly. Sleeping for so long is not something I really want these days after having spend 3 years in a coma. My eyes fell on the box that was still on the table, I was going to spread my arms towards it but they were still hurting me, avoiding me to move for a while. Then, I heard someone arriving in the room : it was Belikov who was coming with a plate in hand.</p><p><em>"Hi, miss Bell."</em> He said with a smile, seeing that I was awake on the couch</p><p><em>"Belikov."</em> I muttered, grinning a little.</p><p><em>"I prepared something to eat for you."</em> He put one of the plate on the table allowing me to discover the content of it.....a home-made hamburger.</p><p><em>"A hamburger ?"</em> I told him, very curious of that choice of food since we are in the Soviet Union <em>"The CIA must have gave you some goods things to have you eat these kinds of food in here."</em></p><p><em>"Yes, they gave me this apartment thanks to their money." </em>He looked around happy as he sit on the seat I was yesterday <em>"One day, I even asked for a baseball cap and they give it to me."  </em>He looked at me. <em>"Did you check the box ?" </em>He asked</p><p><em>"No, I fell asleep before I could do that." </em>I replied before I could feel my body getting better. I can finally move without getting hurt and I took the plate in hand. <em>"About...the file you created for me ?"</em> I asked before taking a bite in that burger that was tasting nice.</p><p><em>"I started to work on it when I leaved you but I took a nap before working on it again in the early morning." </em>He responded, joining his hands together<em> "I will be able to finish it before I can take you out of the city to meet with a CIA team."</em></p><p><em>"You called the CIA ?"</em> I said, worried and starting to sound angry.</p><p><em>"I called them but it was just for saying that I had a defector to give them, don't worry." </em>He leaned back on his seat, seeing my deadly eyes. <em>"They just think that you are another defector." </em>He added, making me relieved,</p><p>
  <em>"What did you say about me ?"</em>
</p><p><em>"I told them that you were compromised and you had to kill 2 of your colleagues." </em>He moved away to get next to a TV.<em> "What you did yesterday did make noises." </em>He turned the TV on before getting back to his seat. It was the first time in three years that I was watching something in the TV and it was weird. When the TV got on, the news were happening and by the odds, they started talking about the incident.</p><p>
  <em>"Yesterday, two policemens from the city of Moscow were found dead by gunshot in an alley near the Lubyanka Place. The chief of the police has stated that 'they will do everything to stop the person who commited these horribles on our peacekeepers and to bring them to the russian people'. According to some rumors, this act was premeditated as some witnesses could see a masked person leaving the area before the police and some could clarify that this person were a woman."</em>
</p><p>The TV was then turned off by Belikov who got up from his seat and go back at his place, looking at me with wide eyes. I can say that I pulled something big from that event and by luck, he gave the CIA the big pretext for me to get out of the country.....what the odds ! The silence striked the room as I was finishing the burger and once it was done, I pulled the plate back on the table. </p><p><em>"You know...."</em> He started, looking worried<em> "I've heard you cry a lot this night."</em></p><p><em>"I know."</em> I replied, biting my bottom lips</p><p><em>"Did you cry because of what happened to you ?"</em> He asked</p><p><em>"Yes, everything that happened to me in my life."</em> I looked down, joining my hands together as I was thinking about the night <em>"And about Park."</em></p><p><em>"Park....I wonder how...."</em> He started to said before I cut him, guessing his question,</p><p><em>"I loved her, right ?"</em> He nodded, I guessed right,</p><p><em>"I remember to have heard about you and her from Adler when you arrived in Mosow three years ago." </em>He crossed his arms above his chest, looking curious <em>"He said that he never agreed about you two and he wanted to do everything to stop that relation to progress."</em></p><p><em>"Last night, it happened that I slept in the same hotel that we were before our attack in the Lubyanka and the receptionist told me that they had a argument about the rooms." </em>I smiled nervously. <em>"I.....I received a letter from Park, dating from 3 years that Adler broke inside my room and make her go."</em></p><p><em>"Shit, I'm sorry about that."</em> He apologized</p><p><em>"I loved her because she was incredible, close to me and she believed in me....even she was aware of my true state." </em>I sniffed<em> "I'm still am."</em></p><p><em>"Don't worry, you will find her....I hope too." </em>He smiled at me<em> "That's why I'm helping you, miss Bell !" </em>He affirmed before getting up from his seat <em>"I need to continue working on your file that I will give to the CIA and once it's done, I will prepare your extraction to the West."</em></p><p><em>"Thanks you again."</em> I said, grinning as he started to walk away back to his room without saying a thing.</p><p>I was now back alone in his living room, having eating something good and finally feeling better. After that little talk with him, I decided that it was time to check that box of mine that was standing on the table for the night. I took the box and put it next to me on the floor and I opened it. I was so nervous about opening that box but it was too late. I could realized that there weren't much in it as it wasn't so heavy : something looking like my records and then some pictures that I wasn't able to see because they were turned on the wrong face.</p><p>I decided to start by looking at that big file that I presumed to be my records. I could finally discover my whole identity : I'm named Yirina Grigoriev, born May 8th 1952 in Kiev. At four years old, I....I lost my parents from an accident that wasn't explained at all in the records and after that, it was said that I was take in charge by Perseus himself, raising me.....shit, I was like an daughter to him. </p><p>In 1968, I apparently became the youngest recruit in the KGB, having Perseus pulled some strings to make this happen and one year later, I have my first operation outside the country and after that, I rosed through the ranks while staying an field operatives agent until I get stopped, staying as a simple KGB officer under Perseus's orders during the remaining years until 1981. It wasn't marked on the file but I presumed that I could have added<em> 'Disappeared the January 13th 1981 left for dead by an Perseus lieutenant'</em> ! This file wasn't updated meaning that something happened before Trabzon and that box wasn't touched by Perseus during all these times.</p><p>By looking at these records, I know that it was better for me to take back everything with me and I put these big file in the backpack that I left just next to the couch. Once I'm done it, I decided to put my hand on the box to take a look at those mysterious pictures. There were actually three pictures for me. The first one.....it was me in my younger days posing in a military outfit, either in training or somewhere fighting for Perseus. I wasn't alone because there were also Freya and Perseus himself standing between her and me. I put it on my backpack, resisting to tear apart Perseus from the picture, leaving only me &amp; Freya.</p><p>The second picture was still me but I was looking more older and there were a date on it but only the year : 1980. I was looking at the camera with an embarassed look and dressed in the same uniform I was on in my memories, sit in my office. It was just me and no one else on the picture. I was looking pretty on it, giving me a little smile before I put it on the backpack too. Then, I took the last picture in hands and.....there weren't any of my presence on that picture : it was Zasha on it, their arms around an woman I don't know or remember at all. Strange but it could be useful again if I can one day see Zasha again.</p><p>I was now done with the pictures and my attention was now on the letter that was the last thing inside this box. I checked the envelope and it was so curious because it wasn't my handwriting at all on it. It was written : <em>'For my Yiri.....from Zed'</em>. So, it was a letter written by Zasha for me.....or for that woman on the picture. Is this woman also called Yirina ? The envelope was already opened but I was so stressed out about it that I decided to read it later and that's not for me. Like the third picture, I need to keep it in case I see Zasha or that woman now.</p><p>I was done with that box : it was empty now as everything was inside my backpack, giving me some more weight to carry on my back. Right now, I have nothing to do except of waiting.....so I laid myself down on the couch again, looking at the ceilling without closing my eyes and trying to think about something but my mind was very busy at this moment and wasn't so willing to let me have a memory back. </p><p>All I can do was to stay on that couch, look at the ceilling and trying to think this time about what will happen in the followings days : I will be able to return back to West-Berlin next to Park, I will have to face Adler about his choices and after that, I will have no choice than to join Park again to track Perseus down. Now that I know that he's still around, I have to help her and the others in their fight....a fight that was mine and became mine again. If I can find Freya and Zasha again, I could feel happy and save them from Perseus's control.</p><p>Hours passed and the evening was coming into Moscow. I didn't move at all from the couch until Belikov got out of his room, a file in hand. </p><p><em>"Miss Bell, I have finished to plan everything." </em>He said, proudly</p><p><em>"Everything ?"</em> I repeated, getting up from the couch, curious.</p><p><em>"Yes, your new file and we are awaited." </em>He handed me the file to let me check it and I took it.</p><p><em>"So." </em>I started, giving a look at it <em>"I'm one of your contacts named Tanya Koslova inside the Moscow police that needed to flee after killing two Perseus agents that tried to kill me."</em></p><p><em>"It was the best way to convince the CIA." </em>He told me, scratching the back of his head before getting his hand behind his back to grab something <em>"You will need this."</em></p><p><em>"Bandages ?" </em>I saw that in his hands</p><p><em>"To cover your head."</em> He raised an eyebrow <em>"I told the CIA extraction team that you have suffered from a bad burn on your face and that you don't want to show your face to the others."</em></p><p><em>"It was to convince them ?"</em> I asked, smirking and not sure about this</p><p><em>"No, to make sure they don't recognize you." </em>He replied, still handing me over the bandages. I hesitated and then, I took the bandages in my hands,</p><p><em>"Are you sure it will work ?"</em> I asked, he nodded sure of himself, as I started to put the bandages around my head to cover it. <em>"I will be looking stupid" </em>I thought to myself, joking. Once I was done with that, I checked myself in the mirror, just my ears, my eyes, my mouth and my nose were not covered.</p><p><em>"You're looking great." </em>He exclaimed with a big smile</p><p><em>"Yeah, sure." </em>I sighed </p><p><em>"Take your bag and it will be time to go." </em>He ordered me as he walked to take his jacket</p><p>I took my backpack and then, we leaved his apartment, getting down the stairs and getting inside his car in the outside to leave the city. I wasn't looking so sure about his plan to get me covered with bandages around my head but I started to feel that he was right about this : the CIA has maybe erased everything talking about me in my records but they aren't blind. They can still recognize my face after all these years and Belikov was so helpful about thinking about that.</p><p>I couldn't believe it but I was really going to get out of the country to return back to West-Berlin and without knowing, it was the CIA that was going to make this part of the job. They will have to know one moment that it's me but when they will discover that, I will be back with Park and when I will face Adler but not before. Me &amp; Belikov didn't talked at lot during the driving as he was preparing himself in his role and I was doing the same too. I needed to play the woman in need of fleeing....with an russian accent.</p><p>It took 10 minutes after we left the outskirts of the city to arrive in a secret location : it was a CIA clandestine runway and we were both getting nervous about what will happen. When the car stopped, a man come out of a abandoned building next to that runway, walking towards our car. Belikov ordered me to follow him and to not make any weird moves. I took the backpack and I got out of the car, following him to encounter this mysterious man.</p><p><em>"Belikov !" </em>The man started, looking curious at my sight</p><p><em>"Tom, my friend."</em> Belikov replied,handing his hand to shake it. Both mens shook their hands but this 'Tom' was still looking at me, weirdly, maybe wondering who I was,</p><p><em>"This is the girl you talked about ?"</em> He asked, removing his eyes from me</p><p><em>"Yes, here's her file." </em>Belikov handed over the fake file he has made and Tom checked it for sometimes before taking it. <em>"So, she's fleeing after getting those 2 Perseus agents killed." </em>Belikov nodded,</p><p><em>"Exactly and she need to join West-Berlin like she asked to me." </em>He added, looking at me, winking not in the other sight</p><p><em>"Good, it will take the others 3 days to get her in there." </em>Tom said, crossing his arms to look at a small plane awaiting for us <em>"This plane will take you to another location outside the Soviet Union and then the rest will be told to you with the others."</em></p><p><em>"3 days ?" </em>I asked in a surprised perfect russian accent</p><p><em>"Yes, the Reds is getting suspicious with people like us."</em> He rolled his eyes, thinking about this <em>"This commie bastards never changed."</em> He looked at Belikov <em>"No offense, Dimitri." </em>He laughed, followed by Belikov and me who was more silent</p><p><em>"I know, got that joke each time."</em> Belikov replied with his laugh</p><p><em>"Well, she's now our responsability until she's brought to West-Berlin." </em>He looked at me, nodding. <em>"You can get into that plane and take a seat. Belikov, you can go now." </em>He then gestured to get moving and I complied, followed by him, not before giving a goodbye to Belikov, thanking him for his help.</p><p>I got inside the plane and I took a seat as the plane engine started to make some noises. Tom arrived to give me some details about what I need to do each time I will meet a new team charged to bring me to West-Berlin and once he was done, he left the plane, leaving me alone with just an pilot. Then, the plane take off as the night started to fall on the russian countryside, I was feeling happy about getting out of here thanks to  Belikov and now, I was feeling that I could get some free sleep as I was so tired after spending a day without moving.....and I could feel a memory coming back....</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>By looking at it, I was standing in the medical room of.....the safehouse back in West-Berlin.....a memory from my time inside Adler's team. I was next to a operation table and cleaning some medical tools after I did something with it....but what for ?  I was looking to a used bullet when someone entered the room : it was Lazar !</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, Bell." He started before closing the door </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"7,62 x 54 mm, guess the gun." I showed him the bullet I had in hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"SVD Dragunov, I think." He put his hand on his chin "The russians are using that kind of bullet for that sniper." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Good thinking." I said with an sad face "Forgot my manners : good to see you, Laz'" I continued, still sad.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I heard of what happened in Ukraine to Park." He said, worried</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, she was shot near her chest by that bullet, I reacted quickly to save her but she passed out after we got out with Mason &amp; Woods."  I put my hands on the table, closing my eyes "I could only remove that bullet here because I didn't have anything on the plane to did that kind of thing."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know, it's not everyday that we're taking that type of thing in the field." He smiled but he saw my look "What's wrong ?" He asked</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I....I thought that Park was going to die, that what is wrong for me, Lazar !" I exclaimed, raising my voice before I leaned myself on the table "I thought that she was dead when she receives that bullet."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bell, you saved her !" He got next to me "That's the most important thing, right ?" He added, putting his hand on my shoulder</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know and....." I started before cutting myself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And ?" He asked </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't know if I can tell you this." I got up from the table to face him "I know that I met only Park for a couple of days but I like her." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's normal, you're became great friends." He smiled, happy to hear that</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I mean, I....I love her, Lazar !" I looked down "I have feelings for her, she's so beautiful and so kind to me." I looked at him, he was stunned to hear that from me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wow, I never thought that."  He crossed his arms with an little grin "I'm must say that....it's okay for you to feel those things around here. It's not because we're spies that we can't love." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But Adler....."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Adler maybe said that 'you need to keep it professional' but you need to do what you want and not what he want." He told me, sure of himself "He's not the one making your life, you are !"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're right, Laz'" I smiled "I need to do what I want !" I repeated, feeling happy</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did you say that to her ? That you love her ?" He asked</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No." I simply responded</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Soon as she got up, tell her what you think about her !" He then put his hand back on my shoulder "I'm pretty sure she's thinking the same about you." He laughed "I saw it in her eyes that she got something for you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're sure ?" I said and he nodded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Park is a good person and you will be better when you two will be a thing." He smiled before getting away from the table. "I'm sure that you will do everything for her, right ?" I nodded, sure of my feelings and sure of that.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes....everything."</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hoped you liked this new chapter !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Great Escape</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bell is going to be soon back at West-Berlin, with the help of the CIA who didn't recognized her but a little unexpected thing caused her to improvise......</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I didn't know how I could have feel right now, I thought that I was still in a coma in reality and that everything that happened for two days was just an big dream. I had to gently shook my head when I was inside that plane to make sure I wasn't dreaming but everything was so real and I coudn't believe it either : I was finally leaving the Soviet Union after more than 3 year in a hospital bed, thinking inside of me that I was never going to wake up again and by strange odds, it was the CIA who was extracting me out of the country, the ones who left me for dead....are helping me.</p><p> </p><p>When I woke up 2 days ago, I was lost, trying to find who I was and where I could go but good people helped me to find my way : Krimilov, Tanya and Belikov. Krimilov helped me by giving back my stuff he succeeded to keep for all these years and leading me to Belikov, also giving me means to survive in the city. Tanya, she helped me reason with myself in the choices I was going to do and I was happy that I was able to help with her little problem with some thugs and there were Belikov.</p><p> </p><p>I was spectical at first with him as I wasn't so sure that he was going to help me at all with my problems but I was so wrong about him. When I revealed my true identity to him, he decided to cooperate by giving some infos about what happened after the events of Solovetsky and after that, he decided by himself to help me getting out of the country as fast as he can. He took risky measures for that but he was worth the risk as he was able to secure my escape in one day and now, I was on my way back to West-Berlin but I didn't know exactly where.</p><p> </p><p>The flight lasted at least 1 hour before the plane landed as the pilot announced to me that we were arrived in Poland where I was going to be put in charge by the second CIA extraction team tasked to lead me throught Poland. I didn't know why the travel was going to last more than 3 days since we could have been already in West-Berlin in no-time but I preferred to not ask anything, staying in my role of a russian defector who worked with Belikov before been caught by my 'former colleagues'.</p><p> </p><p>After the plane landed, the second team took me in charge and we stayed for the night on that location before the next morning. Then, they started to drive me off that CIA runway into going into the West's direction. I was lucky that no one was so curious about why I was wearing bandages on my head but since I was asked to give the fake file about me to every team I was going to meet, their answers to their question were quickly there. </p><p> </p><p>That team were pretty nice with me and was okay about not asking me so much questions during our travel inside the Polish countryside. They said to me that when we will be at the East-German-Polish border in the end of the second day, another team will take charge of me until I arrived to West-Berlin. The first night that occured after my escape from the USSR were very changing because I didn't sleep for so long but strangely, I wasn't able to think about my old life as I was more focused on getting back to West-Berlin, even if I had some weird dreams.</p><p> </p><p>At the end of the second day, we arrived at the border leading to East-Germany and now, the other team took me and they conducted me to an hidden safehouse in the East-German countryside at a least 50 km at the north of the German divided capital. However, that team wasn't so pleasant with me and even with the fake file, their question were still coming to me and each time, I needed to improvise everytime my owns answers but they were still asking me those stupid questions.</p><p> </p><p>We arrived in that safehouse at the beginning of the evening and tomorrow, they were asked to drive me to my destination but they were still awaiting for their orders before they could fully act for me. After I was cleared off to have some rest, I decided that I needed some sleep since I wasn't very in peace with the CIA all around me. <em>A risk worth taking ! </em>They gave me a room where I could sleep finally in peace and for me, it was better for them. Once I was alone in that room, I jumped directly onto the bed, not forgetting to lock the door before. <em>Finally some sleep.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I was working in the same office as before inside the Lubyanka as Zasha was working too at their own desk that was next to mine. In my hands, there were some paperworks I was doing : reports to fill in after some operations I have done in the past and some decryptions as always about some documents. I was working on it when I could hear knock on my door. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come in." I said, loudly to be heard but my voice was harshly like if I had a bad day. I wasn't even looking at the door, staying focused on working. The door opened and I wasn't still looking who entered my office.</em>
</p><p><em>"Yirina."</em> It was a man voice and when I looked up, it was Perseus himself. Zasha stood up from their chair to make him a military salute but me, I stayed on my chair.</p><p>
  <em>"Sir." Zasha said as Perseus looked at them</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Krypto." He told them.....maybe an surname for Zasha and it wasn't looking so affectious for Zasha who were troubled before they got back on their seat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Perseus." I muttered at him before I looked back at my paperwork again, getting focused "What do you want ?" I asked in an harsh tone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I wanted to talk to you." He said as he started to sit on the chair in front of my desk. "About you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What's the problem with me, Perseus ?" I asked, writing furiously</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why are you sounding so angry ?" He asked me back before I stopped writing looking at him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because someone in our group decided to spoke about that operation." I told him, dropping my pen on the desk and for obscure reasons, I wasn't so specific about that but him saw him what I was talking about,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Listen, it was years ago. You don't need to be worried about what....."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Happened, right ?" I clenched my fists on the desk, looking at him with deadly eyes. "You always saying that this man deserved it but I checked the intels again and again, he was innocent and a good man." He was still looking serious</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know but...."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No." I cut him straight in his words "I tried so much to stop that operation but the man in charge was so blinded by your orders that he decided to kill him anyways."  I looked at my desk, my arms on my legs. "Since, I swore to protect the innocent and those who deserve to live."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know." He told me before I looked at him again,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I think it's better to change the subject, what do you wanted to talk with me about me ?" I said, crossing my arms</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I was thinking about your personal life, you know that you will need a man in your life, a good husband for you. I have planned...." He started to said before I cut him again,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not interested, Perseus." I replied, looking sure in my answer</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are always not interested, Yirina." He rolled his eyes to the ceillings "What's the problem with you ?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My problem ?" I sniffed before I started to think about my answer. "I'm tired of hiding to you what I really feel about what I think." I took a deep breath "You want to know why I'm not interested ?" I asked before taking another breath "Because I'm lesbian !" I exclaimed, loudly, getting up from my chair. When I told him that, he was taken aback, looking at me in fear. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You....you're a lesbian ?" He repeated, shocked</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe it's not how you see things but it's how I feel right now !" I put my fist  in anger against the desk. "You need to accept that fact, Perseus." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I....I." He started to said before losing his words, catching his breath and then standing up from his chair "I need some fresh air." He then started to walk out of my office, leaving me alone but I completely forgot that Zasha was still there, witnessing our argument. I looked at them before sitting down again on my chair, one of my hands on my forehead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I never thought that, Yirina." They said to me, sounding &amp; looking amazed by my declaration to him about my true orientation. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I've been hiding this for years and I told him that like that." I replied, my voice cracked by emotions. "It's hard for me to show that but I'm proud of my choice."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"At least, we are both proud of what we are." They told me, causing me to smile at them as they were right, knowing their situation. "I hope it will be okay for you." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, it will take time with him but he will have to accept who I am." I continued to smile before looking back at my paperwork,</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I need to get back to work, it's better now."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was a strong memory that I have just saw : it was the first time since I woke up where Perseus himself was there in person. Apparently, he wanted me to have an husband but I wasn't so okay with that, leading me to tell him the truth about me and honestly, I'm proud of my own sexual orientation. I don't know what happened next but I hope it didn't have bad consequences on me....if we exclude the part where I was shot &amp; left for dead in Turkey as it was unlikely that he decided to dispose of me because of that.</p><p> </p><p>I woke up the next day, my body was feeling good after I spent two day to answer questions and to always walk everywhere as asked by the CIA teams. I got up from the bed, decided to take a shower after these 2 tiring days. I never had the time to properly take a shower since I woke up and when I started to feel the first water drops on my skin, it was so damn good. Not so cold, not so hot, it was perfect. Of course, I have to remove the bandages on my head, allowing me to breath clearly after having those bandages every day on my face.</p><p> </p><p>Hopefully, the CIA teams provided with some others bandages in case I needed to change them. After I took my shower, I look myself in the mirror knowing that this whole mascerade will end soon but I needed to hide my face still. I took the bandages in hands and started to get them around my head, again, covering my face. I was so hideous with those things but it was necessary. I got out of the bathroom and I put my clothes back on. That was the only thing that didn't change for days as the CIA weren't able to give new clothes, giving me no choices to keep the same clothes for days.</p><p> </p><p>Once I was ready, I checked my watch : it was going to be noon soon and time for me to get driven to West-Berlin to an unknow location as the teams weren't clear with me about it. I took my backpack and I left the room, ready to join the CIA team. I walked slowly down the stairs when I started to hear some voices talking, it was them. But then, I frozed in place when I heard Adler's name been mentioned</p><p><em>"So, you sure that Adler want us to bring her to the E9 Safehouse ?"</em> One of the guys said, he was named Sawyer and was the most polite with me but not so polite nonetheless.</p><p><em>"Yes, since she dealed with some Perseus guys, he think that she will have some crucial info about Perseus after their disastrous operation one week ago." </em>That was the guy named Terry, the one I was hating the most in that team.</p><p><em>"What happened in that operation ?"</em> Someone asked, it was the third and last guy of the CIA team named Walter <em>"I don't remember well."</em></p><p><em>"Someone inside the CIA claimed to have found an high Perseus official in an isolated place in Afghanistan but it was just an trap."  </em>Terry exclaimed, sounding angry <em>"Perseus wanted to dispose of Adler's team but it didn't worked out, only his team got out of here alive at the cost of having nothing against Perseus and having lost some of our mens."</em></p><p><em>"The MI6 were there too, they lost some of their guys too."</em> Sawyer told him</p><p><em>"I don't give a fuck about the MI6, they're the one who almost foiled the operation." </em>Terry added, giving to his friends and to me, his opinion about the British. <em>"It's a job for the CIA, not those damn tea drinkers."</em></p><p>I was clenching my fists in anger when I heard him talk like that about the MI6. I take it personally because for me, he was attacking everyone including Park and I couldn't accept it. I remember now why he was the one I hate the most around here. But then, I realized that they were going to bring me directly to Adler.....and that's not the thing I want right now. It's Park I needed to see first, not him. I can't allow them to take me in front of Adler even if he doesn't really know who I am. What I need to do right now....is to improvise.</p><p> </p><p>I decided to think along the way as I decided to move again on the stairs and to join the little group that were in the kitchen. I was glad they didn't hear me arriving from the stairs but they saw me arrive in the room.</p><p><em>"Miss Koslava." </em>Terry smirked at seeing me with an disturbing look to me<em> "How was sleeping ?"</em></p><p><em>"Good."</em> I replied, using my russian accent <em>"So....uhm, what's the plan if I can ask ?" </em>I asked</p><p><em>"We are going to bring you to a CIA officer named Russell Adler." Walter replied to me. </em>Hearing Adler's name again make me close my eyes for a second, trying to not think about him, appearing as a vision at my sight like what happened in that hotel in Moscow. <em>"He's the one in charge of the ops for tracking down Perseus."</em></p><p><em>"I see."</em> I said, looking at Walter </p><p><em>"Your infos can help him a lot." </em>Sawyer added, nodding slowly <em>"You must know that it's important that we bring you to him."</em> I nodded at him before he stand up from his chair.</p><p><em>"Well, it's time for us to drive to West-Berlin." </em>Terry exclaimed, grabbing the keys and giving them to Sawyer <em>"Follow us, miss Koslova." </em>The trio then started to walk out the room as I followed them outside where an car was there. </p><p>I entered the car, installing myself in the backseats behind the driver who was Sawyer. Terry got next to him as the front passenger as Walter installed himself on the backseat behind him. I was feeling so trapped at this moment now that I know where they are going to drive me. After we were all set up, Sawyer started the car and drove away with West-Berlin as our destination.....precisely the E9 Safehouse or as it was called and I remembered well <em>'Die Landebahn'</em></p><p> </p><p>During the first half of the travel and just at a few kilometers from West-Berlin, no one....I mean, no one decided to open his mouth to talk and to break the weird silence that was inside that car. It was feeling so weird because they were not asking question to me at all and that was a first for me since the last day where I was feeling so oppressed with their questions all day. I was at peace that I decided to check something in my backpack that was just at my feets. I was looking for Park's picture I've been keeping for so long and the only picture I have of her right now. In my hands, I was holding back my tears at seeing that face but then, the picture was suddenly taken off my hands by surprise and when I look up, I could see that Terry was the one to took it.</p><p>"Wow, that's a nice picture you got there." He said, laughing before he could see who was on that picture <em>"Oh, that's that bitch, Park !" </em>He added, making me inside filled with rage.</p><p><em>"Hey, give me that back !" </em>I ordered in anger as I moved from my seat to take the picture back in my hands <em>"What the fuck, are you serious ?" </em>I added in anger but he was still curious about seeing her.</p><p><em>"How did you found yourself with an picture of her ?"</em> He asked me as I was putting the picture back in the backpack</p><p><em>"Why are you curious ?" </em>I asked in return but he was still awaiting for my answer <em>"I ain't gonna answer your question, I'm not sneaking to steal your stuff, right ?"</em></p><p><em>"Uhm, she's right, Terry, you shouldn't...." </em>Sawyer started to say but.....</p><p><em>"Ow, shut you and focus on driving, Sawyer." </em>Terry told him in an harsh tone</p><p><em>"Wait, it was really Park ?"</em> Walter asked, getting into the conversation as I was getting so nervous and angry about them. I stayed back as the conversation continue<em> "You really have an problem with her, buddy !"</em></p><p><em>"It's not my fault if she's acting like a dick with us." </em>Terry replied to him <em>"I think that she has something to do with Hank's disappearance." </em>He added, letting me think of multiple things about that strange event....Terry must have a big hate for Park as I have now a big damn hate for him.</p><p><em>"Oh, you're not going to start again with that ?"</em> Walter rolled his eyes in annoyance</p><p><em>"She was the last one to saw him alive and he was at this safehouse we're taking that russian before he disappeared." </em>Terry crossed his arms, looking outside </p><p><em>"What's....what's the problem ?"</em> I asked to Walter, naive</p><p><em>"Hank was an good friend of Terry and he was working with Adler's team at the beginning of the year until one day in early in March, Hank disappeared like that without leaving an trace." </em>He responded before looking at Terry. <em>"Since, Terry think that she has something to do since she was the only one at that safehouse at this moment with him."</em></p><p><em>"But why is she....she is acting with you like that ?" </em>I then asked to Terry, still naive, holding myself to not giving an big punch to the face</p><p><em>"I don't know." </em>He replied, clearly, not looking at me. <em>"But I will know when we will arrive at the safehouse, she's here and I will have my answers."</em></p><p><em>"Okay, we're getting to the checkpoint." </em>Sawyer talked as we were arriving at the limit of West-Berlin <em>"Everyone, stay quiet."</em> He ordered to everyone as the car stopped at the checkpoint.</p><p>Everyone including me were nervous with the fact it was uncommon to see someone with bandages around their head everyday. A guard came in to check the car and asked Sawyer papers for an check-up, looking for any wrong things. The guard's eyes fell on me and he was getting curious until Sawyer asked him to look further in the papers. In fact, Sawyer has put some money in his own papers to corrupt the guard in advance. He knew that my state was going to make questions and he decided to take things into his own hands.</p><p> </p><p>The guard gave him back his papers and finally allowed the car to advance and to enter the West side of the German capital and unfortunately for me, we were driving right to the safehouse. Even if Park was there as Terry confirmed, it was also meaning that Adler was there too, waiting for me. I needed to see Park alone and then I could finally face Adler but not the two. I had to think quickly of a plan right now. I needed to get out of that car, wait for an good time to go to the safehouse and then await for Park to be alone to see her.</p><p> </p><p>I had no other choices for the following minutes before I had an plan : I couldn't get out of the car like that, meaning that I have to dispose of this CIA team and making sure that they will not follow me. I can't kill them but I will find a way to neutralize them from following me after I'm back on the loose. It was too risky for me to take my M1911 in my backpack so I had no choices but to use my fists and my feets to fight back. As the car was stopped at a redlight at a least 2 kilometers from the safehouse, I decided it was time to take action as I started to unbuckle my seatbelt.</p><p><em>"Miss."</em> Walter saw me doing that <em>"I think you should put your belt back on."  </em>He added before I act. I gave him a big nudge in his face and instantly, I did put him down for the moment but then, I saw Terry who has unbuckled his seatbelt too,</p><p><em>"You bitch !" </em>He was looking at me, trying to find his gun before looking at Sawyer <em>"Drive, you fucking idiot !" </em>He shouted to him as I moved to start to strangle him with my arms as the car drove off at full speed, going through the redlight.</p><p>I tried with all my strenght to incapaciate him by my arms but he was resisting a lot as he tried to use his gun against me. He wasn't successful because Sawyer was driving at full speed not even in the direction of the safehouse, avoiding cars and others things, trying to make me lose my balance in the car. At one moment, Terry succeeded to stabilize his arms to start aiming me with his gun but I removed one of my arms from his neck to get the gun away from me until......</p><p><em>"Fuck, my hand !" </em>A bullet came off of Terry's gun during our struggle, landing in Sawyer right hand, posed on the wheel. That shot caused Sawyer to lose control of the car as it was entering a alley and it was an dead end. I knew that I needed to find a safe place as the car was driving against a wall. I punched Terry in the face before I laid down on my seat, bracing for the impact. Terry tried to shoot at me but it was too late for him as the car crashed against the wall of the alley.</p><p>The impact caused me to move a little from the seat but thanks to my action, I was saved because if I didn't do it, I was knocked out and maybe throw throught the windshield against the wall. However, I was pulled against the driver seat and my left arm was hurting me a lot as the others were all knocked out from the impact. While Walter was out because of my nudge and didn't suffer enough, Sawyer and Terry was still alive but badly in shape as the latte unbuckled his seatbelt to attack me.</p><p> </p><p>Once I regain consciousness of the situation, I got out of the car with some difficulties but I decided at first to dispose of these horribles bandages around my face, throwing them at the nearest dumpster in the alley. <em>Finally free ! </em>I thought to myself.However, some glasses fell on my left cheek, opening it a little, the bandages didn't save me from that. I wanted to flee right now but I decided that I needed to take away the guns they were using and once I had them all, I threw all of them inside a manhole cover. I also take some money they were using, taking all of it before I started to some noises of breathing loudly. They were still alive and since I didn't want to kill them, I decided to let them like that knowing that someone else will save them.</p><p> </p><p>I left the alley, not even looking at the crashed car and putting back the hood on. The crash must have alerted the police and I needed to feel rapidly from the scene. I was now on the loose again but this time, I was now back inside West-Berlin and even if I didn't know much of the city, I was sure of one thing that I didn't have back in Moscow. I was thinking of it as I walked away from the scene : <em>I</em> know where I'm going !</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Back to Park !</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you liked this chapter ! </p><p>They will be more to come !</p></blockquote></div></div>
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